Day 3 - My First Love

*Le sigh*

My first real love was in high school. I was 15 and he was 18. I was a sophomore and he was a junior. I was a day student at a private boarding school, he was a boarder. I was a local girl from the small town, he was from a posh town in New York (I refuse to call places that are only an hour or so away from NYC "upstate"). He was one of the popular guys and it was a small enough school that everyone knew everyone else to some extent, but I was what I like to describe as "second tier popular." He was a jock and I most definitely was not. Because I apparently had a penchant for science, I was in chemistry with a bunch of juniors and that's how we met. Then, he signed on to be in the winter musical . Since I was also cast in the musical, we started spending more time together.

On a freezing cold January day we went to a peace rally/march in the state's capital to oppose the Gulf War (what idealists we were!). We flirted mightily and, by the time the musical was in full swing - 42nd Street, in case you're wondering, I played Maggie - we were an item. Sam joined the a capella group that I sang in and we were pretty much inseparable. Our attire for a capella gigs was blue jeans, white button up shirts and ties. After I admired one of his ties, he gave it to me. (insert swoon here) His parents owned a summer camp for boys in Maine and we got to see each other fairly often outside of the school year. A series of events conspired to make it so that Sam couldn't return to Tilton for his senior year, and it ended up being for the best. He had some issues that he needed to sort through and it still means the world to me that he called to make amends as he sorted out his life. We dated off and on for 3 years and I loved him deeply.

The last time we spoke was shortly before I was married. I had intended to send his tie back to him and tracked him down for his mailing address. Over the years, I thought of Sam and wondered how he was. I hoped that he was happy and his life was good.

As luck would have it, we reconnected a while ago on facebook. He's married now, has two beautiful daughters and, last I knew, was in law school. It's been great to see how well his life has turned out.

Sam'll always be my first love and I'll always have a couple of regrets about our relationship, but I'll never forget him and he'll always hold a special place in my heart.

I never did get around to sending his tie back to him.

Day 2 - Meaning Behind Name of Blog

I explained it back at the beginning, but I'm happy to do so again.

Flea is one of my nicknames. However, ONLY my mother calls me Flea. It's not that no one else is allowed to call me Flea, it's just that no one else ever has and, for some reason, I don't know as though I'd respond if someone other than Mom referred to me as Flea. Chalk it up to a mother-daughter thing.

OK, so the story is that I was quite the active child and would "bounce around from place to place...like a flea." Hence the nickname.

When asked why she called me Flea, she said "because it's her name." Huh? Alright...short story long:

When I was born my parents had no clue what to name me. I came this close to being Clementine (thank you, Dad), but my mother objected vigorously to that selection so it was off the table for discussion. I left the hospital as "Baby Girl Walker" and was summarily baptized within a week of my birth (go, Mom - I couldn't get it together to have Liam and Ella baptized until they were 7 months old). Needing a name for the baptism, my parents culled from their own names and I was baptized Lee Frances Walker. Lee being my mother's middle name and Frances being the female variation of my father's first name. My mother, however, didn't like Lee as a first name for a baby; she thought it was too adult (because, you know, babies don't grow up or anything) so that is not the name that went on my birth certificate.

Apparently, way back when, you had time to file birth certificates. None of this name your baby before you leave the hospital and you can pick up the birth certificate within 10 days business. So...after much consideration and debate, coupled with my mother's desire to have a name that "sounded good with Walker," I was finally, officially Heather Lee Walker, "Heather" being my sister, A's, suggestion. Frances was dropped and I never liked the spelling of Lee. Fast forward to high school: I changed the spelling of Lee to Leigh and, to honor my father who died when I was 6, I took Frances back. So, then I was Heather Leigh Frances Walker. Sometimes, I feel a pang of guilt about changing the spelling of Lee and I know it made Mom a little sad, but it's Leigh and I'm sticking with it.

OK, but where the hell does "Flea" come from? Well...apparently, my mother reversed the order of Lee and Frances and created "Flea." I'll admit, I like Frances Lee much more than Lee Frances, but still - when she said it was my name, I looked at her as though she had 4 heads...because didn't she remember the very name she had given me?! Granted, when you've got 10 kids, it's hard to keep everyone straight.

So, that's where the Flea part comes from...

When I was contemplating starting a blog, I wanted to play off of my nickname and also convey how I try to live my life with gratitude. I batted different ideas around, with the top contender being "Gratefulea," but I wasn't sure if worked. So, I eventually settled on A Grateful Flea.

Because, really, that's who and what I am. A grateful flea.

And now you know.

In Case You're Wondering...

...it is far easier to bang out an hour on the treadmill at 6:30 in the morning when you can watch a movie on closed captioning (as opposed to kids' programming) and have some great tunes on your work out playlist. The time passes more quickly and you're less tempted to peek at your progress. Just sayin'.

I try to pick a movie I've already seen at some point so that I don't have to pay close attention to it, but can still follow for the most part and also, because I only end up watching ~ 2/3 of any given movie, so I don't feel compelled to finish watching it once I'm off the 'mill. This morning's selection was The Rock and, although I already feel the need to create a new work out playlist, all of the songs that came up, save one, were just what I needed for some beats motivation.

Now, I need to shower. I stink.

Day 1 - Intro/Recent Pic/15 Interesting Facts

As promised, I'll follow right up with the first of the 30 day posts. Since I can't get the picture to post properly, it's right here at the beginning. Frankly, there aren't any recent pictures of me, so I took this one just now to make up for that. I'm usually the one behind the camera, so that's the way the cookie crumbles. Here, I'm laughing at something Miss Ella was doing.

So...well, since I've had this blog for a while now, there is an intro waaaay back in the beginning, but it can't hurt to "update" me, can it? On facebook, my "about me" section reads as follows:

"Mother. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Friend. News junkie. Democrat. Wannabe quilter. Recovering Diet Coke addict. Gym rat. Reader. Fierce Trivial Pursuit player. All-around strong chick."

That's a pretty apt description. I might actually change the order of some of those descriptors, moving "Friend" higher up on the list. When I wrote it, though, I apparently felt the need to define myself in terms of my family relations first, so there you have it.

I'm a stay-at-home Mumma to 4 1/2 year-old twins - when did that happen? Age 35 is knocking on the door and will be here in a couple of weeks. The nearer I get to my birthday, the less bothered by the number I become - I'll admit to having some anxiety about the big 3-5 a few months ago, but I think it's mostly passed. If anything, I was more bothered by the fact that I was bothered to begin with, if that makes any sense. The real issue is that I just don't feel like I'm in my mid-30s, whatever that's supposed to feel like.

I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to be when I grow up. At some point, I think I would really like to go back to school and pursue a Master's in Social Work and work with sufferers of combat-induced PTSD. Let's just say that it's not a point people in my life can agree on. I wish I had more time to quilt and read. I really wish I had more time to work out. I joined a gym in January 2008 and quickly, and much to my surprise, became addicted to the endorphin high of a great work out. Sadly, over the past months, that aspect of my life has faded far into the background, but I'm beginning to reclaim it by working out at home and have definite plans to get back in the gym within the next month. I love my children more than I ever dreamed was imaginable, but will admit that motherhood is far more difficult than I thought it could be. It truly is the toughest job I'll ever love.

OK...15 "interesting" facts. I could be literal here and post any 15 facts, but I suppose I'll follow the intention of the post and make them facts about me. I just need to remember what I've already put out there, so as not to repeat myself.

• The older I get, the more genuine confidence I develop.
• My favorite cardio machine at the gym in the arc trainer. I love doing weights, though. I rock the leg press and smith squat.
• I am in constant awe of my children.
• My not-so-secret wish is to one day raise Liam and Ella in the house that I grew up in. It's a lovely old farmhouse on 20 acres of land.
  
• I'd love to be a good gardener one day, and have a big garden. You know, at the house where I grew up.
• I admit to owning Barbies when I was a little girl, but I am still confused as to how to raise such a girly daughter. Miss Ella is enamored of all things pink, Princess and sparkly. It confuses me.
• I think intelligence is the most attractive quality in a man. That, and eyes.
  
• It has been over a year since I've had a drop of Diet Coke. I spent more than 20 years of my life addicted to the stuff and then quit cold turkey one day last September. I thought it would be far more difficult than it was.
  
• Now, my drinks of choice are unsweetened iced tea (light ice with lemon, of course!) and flavored seltzer water. Somehow, I learned to make it through the day without coffee.
• I tend to be a night owl and routinely stay up until 1-2 AM. I'm working to change this, though, and am happy to say that I've actually made it to bed before 1 for the past few nights.
• I miss my childhood best friend every day. Losing our friendship is one of the saddest experiences of my life. But, I guess that happens sometimes.
• I have a thing for symmetry.
• My son is better at using the Wii than I. Unless we're talking about the old school games. Then, I rule.
• One of the most beautiful places on earth is Shaker Village. One day, I'd like to just go and be for a a while. Sitting in a chair overlooking the pond and just letting life pass me by as I soak in the natural beauty of the place.
• Next year, preferably in the fall, I want to start a routine of taking the kids on hikes up north. I'm really looking forward to this.

Alright...that's it until tomorrow!

Back

I'm stealing this from Lorraine's blog. (Thanks for the idea, Lorraine!) I've been avoiding posting anything here for quite some time, partly because I haven't had the time to put up anything I felt worthy of your time, but mostly because I am beyond sick and tired of the Chinese spammers.

So....here we go, folks. I'm back!

At least for the next 30 days, this is what I'll be up to here...

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you've traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you're afraid of
Day 11-Favorite TV shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you're looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you've learned
Day 25-Put your MP3 player on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture

Another One

Ella's been into telling (really bad) knock-knock jokes lately. The other day, from the back seat, her brother decided he didn't want to play along any longer. This is what I heard:

Ella: Knock-knock!
*silence*
Ella: Knock-knock, Liam!
*silence*
Ella: Liam! KNOCK-KNOCK!
Liam: No one's home!

Answers To Questions I Still Get Asked

• Yes, my oldest sister also has twins. Yep, a set of boy/girl twins, too. The age difference is 23 years between my sister and me and 28 years between my niece and nephew and Liam and Ella.
• Yes, I always had a feeling that I was going to have twins. Ever since I was about 10.
• Nope, you're right, I don't know what it's like to "just have one."
• No, it's not quite like "just doing everything twice."
• I haven't had a solid night's sleep since sometime in 2005.
  
• Technically Liam is a minute older, but who's counting?
• Uhm, nope, they're not identical.
  
• Nope, they're not "maternal" or "paternal," either.
• Yep, they're fraternal.
• Yes, as a matter of fact they do keep us on our toes.
• Yes, I can tell them apart.
• Well, I don't subscribe to the "one and done" philosophy, although if that's what works for you great! We'll see what the universe has in store for us.
  
• Yes, I would love more children. See above.
• Yes, even another set of twins. (This is my not so secret wish, actually.)
  
• Well, double trouble *polite grin* sort of, but more so double blessing (not technically a question, I know, but a statement I hear a lot...still).