At Least My Skin Is Clear Now

I've slowly jumped on the Facebook wagon and it's a weird thing.

Most of the people I'm connecting with, or at least am making my "friends," are from high school and I'm finding myself back in a high school frame of mind when I think of these people. My 15th reunion (holy hell!) is at the end of June and I'm conflicted about whether or not to go. I did go to my 5th (and 6th, because I was closer to the class of '94 than most of the people in my own class), but haven't returned to campus since and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I went to a small private school where everyone knew everyone to some degree, but I was what I call "second tier popular." I was in the "smart kid" classes and was active in theatre and the arts, so I was known around campus. I sucked ass at sports, which I would say was one of the main focuses of the school (everyone had to play at least one season of a sport, rather than have PE class) and was a bit of a goody-good chick and so now I kind feel like the dorkgirl all over again (and can I just say how much I hate that it matters on any level at all).

The ironic thing about my 5th reunion was that people who didn't otherwise have anything to do with me in high school were very quick to be my friends at the reunion. And yet, when I find some old contacts through Facebook, I'm hesitant to make them my friend (a term which is used so loosely, it almost makes me cringe) because of our interactions 15 years ago. I find myself not really wanting to interact with these people even now, when surely we're different now and a hell of a lot more grown up.

I'm 32 years old and somehow I still feel like an awkward 15 year-old when it comes to some people.

Ugh.

That said, there are former faculty that I'd love to see, so I'll most likely make an appearance at the reunion at least for one night.