A Grateful Flea

Merry & Bright

2010-12-24T23:04:00.000-05:00

Randomness

2010-11-30T23:27:00.002-05:00

I don't know how I could possibly forget Mad Men in my favorite TV show post! Seriously, I lurve that show a ton. Colbert Report, too.
Obviously, my sporadic posting has driven the Chinese spammers away. Hah! Now, the question is...is anyone else out there? (Hi, Lorraine!)
How was your Thanksgiving? We had a lovely time here with family. I love hosting the Holidays, mostly because I'm a control freak. But, I'm also (let me blow my own horn here) really pretty good at it. I love the controlled chaos, the baking, the time management of trying to serve everything hot...I just love it all. This year, I used a probe thermometer for the first time and it was fabulous! It made knowing when the turkey was done a hell of a lot easier. Also, J discovered a new talent for making gravy. I will gladly hand that task over to him, since I've always been a bit intimidated by making gravy (really, it's not that difficult, but I think that, by that point in the meal prep, I'm just over it already).
I need to find my passport. It's going to expire soon, but I need to apply for a renewal. Eldest Niece found a killer deal to go to Iceland and I really, really, really want to go. It's on my list of top 3 places I want to see and the deal is fantabulous. We're kind of crazy and thinking of only going for a weekend, but I don't care. She's been twice and says that should be plenty of time. Plus, we're looking at going in January; a Northern Lights tour would be included in the package. How awesome is that?!
I think I've settled on a program for graduate school. It's a program that I've been thinking about for years and most likely should have done waaay back in the day (you know, before kids). I had been conflicted between choosing a program/path that spoke to my heart and one that was more practical. In the end, practicality won out but I'm happy with my decision.
Miss Ella needs to have her bangs trimmed. I'm taking her to our hair stylist on Saturday. The part I'm a little antsy about is that I think I'm going to let Linda take a couple of inches off of E's hair in the back. I'm still on the fence about it, but I think it needs to be done. Her first "real" haircut...eek!

Postus Interruptus

2010-11-14T22:37:00.003-05:00

This break in the 30 days of posting has been unintentional, I promise. Or has it? Maybe I want to keep you on your toes. When will I post? Will I ever return? Do I know you care?

Actually, it really has. I've been crazy busy with Christmas Fairs and other Pampered Chef related things and I turned 35 last Wednesday. An occasion I saw fit to mark as though it were my 21st. Let's just say it was a rockin' good night. The above picture is from Wednesday night. Pictured are Jeeps, Eldest Niece, Friend Katie, Cait, my brother, P, me and J. I love these people so much and it was fabulous to celebrate with them.

I'm not lying when I say it by far the best birthday ever and one of the best nights of my life.

Day 11 - Favorite TV Shows

2010-11-09T23:24:00.002-05:00

Ah, well, this could be long, but I'll try to keep it brief-ish.

I adore a fair amount of reality TV. I love Top Chef, Top Chef Just Desserts (crazy drama there!), House Hunters, Survivor, Dancing with the Stars (although I don't always keep up with this one), any of the Food Network Challenges and, up until the most recent season, Project Runway (seriously, I am so disappointed by the winner that I may give the show up).

Last year, through the wonder that is netflix, I fell in love with Bones. For fiction, I can also easily get sucked into an episode of Law & Order (pretty much any incarnation, but I tend to watch SVU most often), and this summer discovered Rizzoli & Isles, which is based on characters created by of one of my favorite authors, Tess Gerritson. In trying to figure out what I watch, I'm realizing that I don't want much that's not reality. At least, I don't have the DVR set to record much that isn't kid programming or reality.

And, speaking of kid programming (which you might imagine there's quite a bit of around here, and you'd be right), I'm partial to the Imagination Movers and Phineas and Ferb. In fact, I love Phineas and Ferb.

On a side, but very important, note, we waited far too long to get DVR - the best invention ever - we should have gotten it before the kids were born, but instead we waited until last year. It has made a huge difference in how we watch TV and how we unwind.

Day 10 - Something I'm Afraid Of

2010-11-08T22:29:00.004-05:00

On a serious note, I'm afraid of something happening to the kids, J or anyone in my family (in particular, Mom).

On a completely irrational note, I have a bizarre, inexplicable fear of people in gorilla suits and black holes. Seriously. Once, in high school, I went to a haunted house type of event at my school (it was a haunted tunnel, but you get the picture) and, at the end of the tunnel a freakin' giant in a gorilla suit jumped out and scared the living crap out of me. I kid you not. Turns out, it was my history teacher (who was well over 6 feet tall), but that didn't stop me from bawling like a newborn and freaking the hell out. But, my fear of people in gorilla suits was established long before that event. I just don't know where it comes from. The black hole thing I don't really understand, either. Ever since I was a kid, though, I've been terrified of being sucked into a black hole. I know that it's not possible, but it's this stupid little fear that I have. And now I've put it out there for you all the make fun of me.

Knowledge is power, people, and now you know my weak points.

Day 9 - A Picture of My Friends

2010-11-07T22:12:00.003-05:00

Short of ripping off all of my friend's facebook profile pictures or photos, I don't really have a lot of photos of my friends. This one, however, is from just last week. Halloween to be exact.

Katie and I have known each other practically our entire lives, but we've only really become amazing friends over the past couple of years. When we were younger, our mothers tried to force friendship on us, but it didn't really work. Thanks to facebook, however, we reconnected and have been practically inseparable. Now, I can't imagine not having Katie in my life. Our friendship is easy and comfortable, as though we've known each other for, well, ever and FILLED with laughter. Katie is seriously one of the funniest people I've ever known. Liam and Ella adore her, and she them. J thinks she's hilarious and Katie's a perfect fit in our family; we're routinely asked if we're sisters. When Katie had spinal surgery in August, it was a no-brainer to me that she would come here to recuperate and we all loved every minute of having her around and taking care of her.

I'm very, very lucky to have such an amazing friend.

Day 8 - A Place I've Traveled

2010-11-07T00:03:00.003-04:00

I've traveled much of the Eastern Seaboard, been to Canada a few times and J and I took a cruise to the Caribbean in January of 2001. The longer list is of the places I'd like to travel to, but I won't bore you with that.

The Caribbean trip is by far the biggest trip I've ever taken. To this day, though, I'm still not sure why I chose the Caribbean as I'm not a fan of the heat AT ALL. We'd never been on a cruise and I thought it'd be fun. Suffice it to say that I don't ever really think I'll feel the need to go on another one (although, I could be persuaded to go on an Alaskan cruise).

We took off in a blizzard from Logan Airport in Boston and flew down to Aruba where we set sail for a week. It was hot, hot, HOT. Even in January. I will say, though, that I've never slept as well as I did on the ship. There was something so lulling about the waves that was conducive to fabulous sleep.

From Aruba, we sailed to St. Thomas, where we spent the day on an excursion to St. John - which was truly one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen in my life. Our next port of call was St. Kitts, which was a bit depressing. We didn't opt for any of the offered excursions and instead spent the day walking around the island, exploring little nooks. The poverty was almost unbearable to witness and it was by far the part of our trip that made us hyperaware of the privilege and ease of our lives that we take for granted. I did, however, purchase some lovely handmade glass coasters that I cherish to this day and they remind me of the beauty of the island. From St. Kitts, we traveled on to St. Lucia, which tied with our last port of call, Barbados, as our favorite place. In St. Lucia, we swam in the sea and enjoyed our of the best days ever. Everything was so breathtakingly beautiful. The water. Oh, the water! You truly cannot believe that it's real until you stare down into it, absolutely mesmerized. Our last port of call was Barbados. We enjoyed a tour of a rum distillery (yum!) and a fabulous tour of the island. We wrapped up our time there by shopping in a sweet market, where I purchased a fabulous homemade tea pot that I still love to this day. Of all of our stops, J and I agreed that, should we ever travel to the Caribbean again, we'd most likely choose an all-inclusive resort on either St. Lucia or Barbados. St. Lucia may win by a hair.

Overall, it was a nice trip, but I was happy to come home to snowy, cold New Hampshire.

Day 7 - My Favorite Movies

2010-11-05T09:00:00.004-04:00

Compiling a list of my favorite movies has actually been tougher than I thought it'd be. A couple spring to mind immediately, but then I think to myself that surely I must have more than two favorite movies? So I asked J to help me think of some of my favorite movies. It was interesting hearing what I like from someone else.

Terms of Endearment: I love, love, love this movie. My sister took me to it when I spent my entire first grade Christmas vacation visiting her in Boston. It's the first movie I ever cried during (I thought it wasn't OK to cry in public for some silly reason, so I kept trying to conceal my tears form the kid who kept coming into the theatre to check the thermostat). To this day, it's my go-to movie if I want or need a good cry. Which is ironic, because I DO NOT like to let people see me cry. The scene in the hospital where Shirley MacLaine yells to get pain medication for her daughter? Heartbreaking!
Shadowlands: I'm apparently a Debra Winger fan. I just love this story of C.S. Lewis and his relationship with American poet Joy Gresham. This is one movie that always gets to me, too. Anthony Hopkins performance as the tight-laced Lewis is so charming that it makes me grin like a goofball.
Braveheart: Ah, well I have a fondness for anything related to Scotland and I think Mel Gibson just did a spectacular job with this film. I caught a fair amount of it on TV the other night and it made me happy.
Gone With the Wind: This used to air every New Year's Day and I would just be transfixed. It's one of those movies that I would never watch if I actually owned it, but if I happen to catch it on TV I have to sit and watch. Actually, I tend to not watch any of the movies I own, which is an odd little bit about me.
Up: Lest you think I only have a thing for downers and epics, I discovered this movie last year and fell in love with it. Fortunately, the kids love it, too. The relationship between Carl and Russell is so sweet and adorable that it just makes my heart melt a little every time I watch the movie (thank you, Netflix on Roku!).
O Brother, Where Art Thou?: I LOVE this movie. I think it's hilarious and the soundtrack is AWESOME. This modern retelling of The Odyssey is one I could watch time and again. And, the cast is just fabuolous.
Pulp Fiction: This is just plain awesome. Again, a killer soundtrack (no pun intended).
Fargo: Yep, there's some pretty fabulous black humor for you. I first saw this movie right before J and I boarded a plane to fly out to Minnesota for a job opportunity for him. Imagine my shock when we got off the plane to discover that the accent was not fake! The Coen brothers are just fabulous. I'll watch anything that they make.

I think I'll leave it at that. I'm sure there are other films that I love or that make me happy, but the above list is a pretty good sampling and gives you a fair idea of my tastes. However, I do have a wicked sense of humor, and it's pretty black at that. I've been known to laugh inappropriately at some pretty gruesome death scenes and dialogue.

Day 6 - A Picture That Makes Me Happy

2010-11-02T14:13:00.003-04:00

I bet you thought I'd post a picture of the kids, right? Well, of course I have a ton of photos of them that make me happy, but I opted for a picture that, for me at least, encompasses my family and more.

A couple of weeks ago, J decided that we needed to have a family day. He took a day off from work and we went to a local farm/zoo. It was a gorgeous day, there was hardly anyone there and the kids had a wonderful time running around, feeding the goats and seeing all of the different animals. It was a beautiful Fall day and I'll treasure the memories for a long, long time to come.

The berries (?) in the picture above I discovered quite by accident, as we were over near the wolves' area. I've never seen these before and I was taken by the color. I love the little leaf that fell into the bush, and I love the blurred fence in the background.

This picture most definitely makes me happy :)

More Day 5 - My Siblings, Part 2

2010-11-02T12:47:00.007-04:00

Alright...so we've gone over the 5 oldest. Now, for the next 4. You might expect that I have more of a relationship with them, and for the most part you'd be correct.

My sister, M, is next. She turned 50 earlier this year. Growing up, she was my absolute favorite sibling and I would do anything to spend time with her. Over the years, though, her life has taken twists and turns that I don't necessarily agree with and our relationship has been somewhat strained at times. But, she's my sister and I love her. She lives here in Concord and adores Liam and Ella, but doesn't get to see them as often as she'd like. Of all of us, she's the most "alternative," I guess you could say. M is Cait's mother, so there's been a little bit of tension at times since Cait and I are so close (after all, she lived with us for 5 years), but we've learned to negotiate those waters.

My sister, K, is next. She and I have the same father. We don't really have a close relationship, though, and that makes me sad. Growing up, I think she was jealous of me because her childhood was more difficult than mine. When my parents got together, Mom showed my father a new world of love and warmth that he hadn't really known before (his parents were pretty strict and his first marriage, which is where my other 5 siblings come from, ended badly). Because of this, I think he was able to be more affectionate with me (even though I was scared of him) and K saw this and was envious. Also, K and my sister, N, are only separated by not quite 3 months, so there was a LOT of sibling rivalry between them when I was little. It was stressful. To this day, there's some underlying tension between the two of them that I don't really get. However, K and N's daughters adore each other, so the adults have been forced to work around/through their issues for the sake of the girls. I really, really wish that K and I were closer. Aside from the fact that she's really the only link to our father that I have, I love her children very much and would love to be more a part of their lives. Basically, though, we're pretty much polar opposites. As warm and gregarious as I am, K is buttoned up and kind of a cold fish. I think that we're both just kind of alien to the other and, as much as I reach out to her, she just doesn't know how to handle it. K is an awesome cook and baker and she also loves, love, loves her pets.

N's next. N and K are both not quite 10 years older than I. Growing up, N was my second favorite sibling. She was the cool older sister who didn't mind the kid sister tagging along. One of my fondest memories of N is when she was a cheerleader in high school and I was in awe of her. She taught me the dance routine to the half-time number, which was Beat It. We spent hours in the driveway practicing and I was so excited to see her perform the routine at P's football game. N's husband is the one who committed suicide last year. N has two children and a step-daughter. I love N very much, but she's one of those people who can be nasty mean, but in a way that makes you feel sorry for her because she can just be so unrelenting. I thought she may have mellowed with Mark's death, but sometimes I don't know. We're not overly close these days, although we do live pretty much right around the corner from each other. I'll always be there for her, though, so I suppose that's more a measure of our relationship than anything else.

And now for my brother, P. He and I have a crazy relationship. He's 8 years older than I and I adore him, but he infuriates me at the same time. P is the reason I wanted to have a boy first, because I felt that every little girl should have a big brother. When I was a little girl, there was a Holiday auction at P's high school and he really wanted to win the Cabbage Patch Koosa for me (the pets of the Cabbage Patch Kids, who I will readily admit having an obsession with). P spent $50 on tickets and was pretty confident that he might win. When a teacher won instead, he went to her and asked if he could buy the Koosa from her because he "really wanted to give it to [his] little sister for Christmas." The teacher agreed and there was definitely some big brother worship come Christmas morning. When he received his first computer, P quickly wrote a program to help me learn all of the state capitals. This pretty much illustrates our relationship. He's very much one of those people for whom actions speak louder than words. P's going through a difficult time. His 20 year marriage is ending and it's a sad time. I've been having him over to dinner and it's been a good thing. I don't think he knows exactly how to handle it that Little Sister is in a position to take care of him, but so far he's come to dinner and talked and enjoyed the time, so that makes me happy. P is Liam and Ella's Godfather and he adores the kids. They make him very, very happy. Now, if only P could let go of the sarcasm as a defense mechanism, I'd be thrilled. Plus, he better come to my birthday dinner next week. Otherwise, I'll be pissed. I think he knows better, but I'll keep you posted.

So there you have it. My 9 siblings in a fairly large nutshell. I would love to have some sort of relationship, or at least meet, the remaining 4 from my father's side. Cyndee and I shared a nice connection when we met last year, but I think life has just conspired to keep us too busy to maintain anything. I hope to remedy that soon. From what I understand, the others don't really want to know about me, save one (gasp! How could they not I'm so damn fabulous!) and that's OK.

Despite all of our differences, I love my family dearly. I love being a part of the insanity that is a large family and I love when we're all together. There's nothing that quite like it.

Day 5 - My Siblings, Part 1

2010-10-31T13:30:00.005-04:00

This could be a long and complicated post, so I'll direct you here to read about my siblings in a general sense.

I grew up the youngest of 10 children. Turns out, I actually have 15 siblings, but the other six don't really have a relationship with me (aside from Cyndee, but we've lost touch to some extent and I feel guilty about that). However you look at it, I am most definitely a youngest child (hello, Adler!).

There is a 23 year age difference between the oldest of my mother's children and myself. Growing up, it was never weird to me that half of my brothers and sisters were technically old enough to be my parents or that I had nieces and nephews who were around my age. It wasn't until I was in middle school that I realized my family was kind of unique. We're all very different, but we're all in New England and do see each other several times a year. There are obvious cliques, for lack of a better word, amongst my siblings, but I think that's bound to happen when there's a massive age difference and when there are so many people/different personalities. We really know how to rally as a family, though. Unfortunately, we've had a good deal of experience with this when it comes to death.

Here's the rundown on the 5 oldest, to some extent I'll most likely define my relationship to/with them in respect to my relationship with their children:

Eldest Sister is 58 and currently lives in Maine (though very near the NH border), where she runs a battered women's shelter. Because the majority of her life is consumed with sadness and drama and helping people solve their problems, she tries to live a drama free life. She subscribes to several Buddhist tenets and I don't think it would be going out on a limb to say that she considers herself a Buddhist for the most part. Eldest Sister has 3 children, the oldest of which are also boy/girl twins, who are 28 years older than Liam and Ella (I'm fond of calling both sets of twins "the book ends"). Her youngest was a surprise baby and he was born on Eldest Sister's birthday 26 years ago. He is one of the happiest people I've ever met. Seriously, nothing gets the kid down and just being around him is a joy. Eldest Sister has a very strong personality, but we get along well and she's funny as hell. Growing up, I spent a fair amount of time at her house playing with my niece and nephew and I have many fond childhood memories that include times at Eldest Sister's home.

Chuck, my eldest brother, died of pneumonia when I was 19. He was out at his cabin in California for a little time off and was intending to come back to New Hampshire. His death was a major shock to Mom, who has not gotten over it to this day. Growing up, he was sort of on the periphery of my life. He was around, but never in any great detail. I have good memories of him, and we did grow closer as I got older, but we weren't particularly close. He did have a lovely daughter, my God-daughter, Monty, who is growing into a strong young woman of whom I am very proud. Chuck would be 57 if he were alive today.

I think I've referred to my next brother as Boston on here way back in the day. Boston is 55 and the most financially successful among us. I don't make note of that to be gauche, but it is a significant fact about him. He lives a good life that he has worked extremely hard for. He, uh, lives in Boston in case you were wondering how I so cleverly assigned his moniker, but bought a lovely second home on the coast of Maine last year and spends nearly all of his free time there with his partner, my fabulous brother-in-law, Bello. He is the father of my eldest niece (who is nearly 3 years older than I); Boston became the default patriarch of the family when my father died; we aren't particularly close but we have a strong mutual respect for each other and I know he approves of how my life has taken shape. He and Bello love to entertain and you can almost always find a party of some sort going on at their house.

My sister, A, and I have a wonderful relationship. She is 20 years older than I, having turned 54 earlier this year. A is an amazing person and, growing up, was a second mother to me. When I was pregnant with Liam and Ella, is was pretty much a no-brainer for me that I would ask her to be their Godmother. And a fabulous Godmother she it. A has 4 children and has raised them to be pretty awesome individuals. Nurse, her oldest (only 10 months separates us), is a nurse practitioner. She and her partner, I, recently relocated back to Vermont, after years of living in Philadelphia. Growing up, Nurse and I were pretty much best friends. Nearly all of my childhood memories involve her to some extent. A's youngest son is the nephew who has been very sick for the past year and has nearly died a couple of times. Now that they have a diagnosis (a very rare condition that has hit him particularly hard), they've had a long haul to recovery (which, really, isn't so much a recovery as it is a "new normal"), that includes monthly (sometimes weekly) trips down from Northern Vermont to Boston for medical testing and evaluations. My nephew has lost all of his peripheral vision, as well as his hearing, as a result of the Susac's. The hearing loss has been particularly difficult for A and my nephew to bear, but he'll be getting cochlear implants late next year and he's very much looking forward to that, which is a good thing. A is one of those people who keeps everything to herself, oftentimes to her detriment. All of us, my sisters and I in particular, have inherited a deep personal strength from Mom, but A sometimes has too great of a burden and I would love to help ease it for her, but it takes A LOT for her to ask for help. A and I totally get each other, though, and it's one of my personal joys that we have such a great relationship. I love her dearly.

I've written about my brother Danny here and here. The grief of his death hasn't really lessened with time and now I'm struck by the fact that I'm older than Danny was when he died. It was such a crazy time in our lives, in the history of the disease (so much paranoia and fear), and then bam! it was done. Danny died with grace and dignity and my family made that possible. The experience of his dying and death has left such an indelible mark on my being that I can honestly say that it has permanently affected how I treat people and how I value life and the opportunities we're presented in our daily goings-on. I loved my brother and, though Mom kept me on the periphery of his care and because I was so young, I am honored to have been there to witness the gift that is unconditional love, support and care - from my mother and siblings towards Danny as he died, from our church community who fed us and looked out for Mom, and from Danny himself. He accepted the care and love that we gave to him and, to this day, remains a brilliant example of grace and humility. Unlike Chuck's death, 7 years after Danny's, Danny's death, though heart wrenchingly sad, was a relief. Of course, we didn't want him to go, but he didn't have to suffer anymore and we knew that he died on his terms. Mom finds great comfort in that. And so do I.

Phew! So...that's the scoop on my 5 oldest siblings. I'll post later about the other 4.

Day 4 - My Parents

2010-10-30T21:58:00.003-04:00

Ah...this should be interesting. There's really no way to cleanly separate this entry from the next, which is about siblings, but I'll do my best. The very short version is that I am the product of my mother's second marriage and my father's third. More on that later...

My parents are a funny thing. They met while Mom was working in admitting in the emergency room at a local hospital and my father's wife was a patient. My father's wife died and he was looking for someone to care for his daughter. My mother, being an amazingly generous person, had previously taken in a family of 13 from her church - this in addition to already having 8 children of her own at home - so the priest immediately thought of Mom when my father approached him looking for someone to care for my sister, K, for the remainder of the school year. (My father owned businesses in Massachusetts and needed to be down there during the week, only coming back to NH on the weekends, and he didn't want to uproot K during the school year.) My mother agreed to take K in and my father would visit every weekend.

My older siblings apparently were in favor of something happening between my parents, but everyone was shocked when something actually did. After months of visits, providing for K, and spending time with Mom and the rest of my siblings, my father asked Mom to go for a drive. After a while, he pulled over and quite seriously proposed marriage to my mother. She scoffed at the idea, but he very practically laid out the points that her children needed a father (since theirs had left them high and dry) and that his daughter needed a mother. He wanted to care for Mom and my siblings and asked her to consider. She said yes. Personally, I've always thought this story was rather romantic.

Somehow, my father had procured a marriage license and, upon Mom's acceptance of his proposal, he drove to a Justice of the Peace and they were married on the spot. I was born 13 months and 5 days later.

My father died when I was 6. He was a large man with a booming voice, strong and strong-willed, loud and opinionated. Quite frankly, I was scared of him. Since he worked in Massachusetts all week, I really didn't get that he was my father. When he died, I didn't really feel much of anything. That all came later on, in my teen years. I regret deeply that I was afraid of him. By all accounts, he was a puddle of mush whenever I was around and, much to most everyone's dismay, I had him wrapped around my little finger. He even named one of his companies after me. I miss my father every single day. My mother is very fond of saying that he was a bull in a china shop and that I'm pretty much the same way. I take it as a compliment. I'm strong and can hold my own and you always know where you stand with me. I get all of that from him and I'm grateful to be Clem Walker's daughter (now, if you remember the name of the blog post, you might be saying "Clem?" It was his middle name (more specifically, it was Clement). No one called him Francis).

My mother... Ah, Mom. Mom is the strongest woman I know. She has survived the abandonment of a husband, the death of another, the death of two sons and a son-in-law, as well as breast cancer. She is a gifted musician, playing the piano and pipe organ for more than 60 years now and being the church organist for the parish I grew up in for the past 33 years. She's still going strong with her music, too, and it is one of the joys of my life to sit in the house where I grew up and listen to her play the piano. Growing up, I have very fond memories of going to sleep at night and listening to her music throughout the house. Liam and Ella adore it when Nana sits down at her piano. I love seeing their appreciation of music deepen with the touch of her hands to the piano keys. Mom is a fierce and loyal Mumma Bear. She looks out for us still, even though we're all grown. She is beautiful and graceful and loves the English language. She instilled is us all a deep appreciation of reading and research. One of her passions is the daily crossword puzzle, or, as she calls it, "her therapy." I distinctly remember sitting at her knee - quite literally - as she taught me to read and write before I entered first grade. Above all else, though, Mom loves God and her family. She has a deep faith that has seen her through some seriously dark times and to witness it is a gift.

I'm often sad that my parents had such a short amount of time together. Mom likes to say that she's "had the worst of men (her first husband), and the best (my father) but that, without them, [she] wouldn't have [her] children so [she's] always grateful."

I am most definitely a strong combination of both of my parents and I am proud to be their child.

Oops!

2010-10-30T21:15:00.003-04:00

The best laid plans....right?

I've had a crazy busy past couple of days and was at a church fair today as a vendor for the Pampered Chef. So, I'll pick back up with the 30 days of blogging tomorrow.

Please stay tuned.

Day 3 - My First Love

2010-10-28T10:22:00.003-04:00

*Le sigh*

My first real love was in high school. I was 15 and he was 18. I was a sophomore and he was a junior. I was a day student at a private boarding school, he was a boarder. I was a local girl from the small town, he was from a posh town in New York (I refuse to call places that are only an hour or so away from NYC "upstate"). He was one of the popular guys and it was a small enough school that everyone knew everyone else to some extent, but I was what I like to describe as "second tier popular." He was a jock and I most definitely was not. Because I apparently had a penchant for science, I was in chemistry with a bunch of juniors and that's how we met. Then, he signed on to be in the winter musical . Since I was also cast in the musical, we started spending more time together.

On a freezing cold January day we went to a peace rally/march in the state's capital to oppose the Gulf War (what idealists we were!). We flirted mightily and, by the time the musical was in full swing - 42nd Street, in case you're wondering, I played Maggie - we were an item. Sam joined the a capella group that I sang in and we were pretty much inseparable. Our attire for a capella gigs was blue jeans, white button up shirts and ties. After I admired one of his ties, he gave it to me. (insert swoon here) His parents owned a summer camp for boys in Maine and we got to see each other fairly often outside of the school year. A series of events conspired to make it so that Sam couldn't return to Tilton for his senior year, and it ended up being for the best. He had some issues that he needed to sort through and it still means the world to me that he called to make amends as he sorted out his life. We dated off and on for 3 years and I loved him deeply.

The last time we spoke was shortly before I was married. I had intended to send his tie back to him and tracked him down for his mailing address. Over the years, I thought of Sam and wondered how he was. I hoped that he was happy and his life was good.

As luck would have it, we reconnected a while ago on facebook. He's married now, has two beautiful daughters and, last I knew, was in law school. It's been great to see how well his life has turned out.

Sam'll always be my first love and I'll always have a couple of regrets about our relationship, but I'll never forget him and he'll always hold a special place in my heart.

I never did get around to sending his tie back to him.

Day 2 - Meaning Behind Name of Blog

2010-10-27T09:05:00.004-04:00

I explained it back at the beginning, but I'm happy to do so again.

Flea is one of my nicknames. However, ONLY my mother calls me Flea. It's not that no one else is allowed to call me Flea, it's just that no one else ever has and, for some reason, I don't know as though I'd respond if someone other than Mom referred to me as Flea. Chalk it up to a mother-daughter thing.

OK, so the story is that I was quite the active child and would "bounce around from place to place...like a flea." Hence the nickname.

When asked why she called me Flea, she said "because it's her name." Huh? Alright...short story long:

When I was born my parents had no clue what to name me. I came this close to being Clementine (thank you, Dad), but my mother objected vigorously to that selection so it was off the table for discussion. I left the hospital as "Baby Girl Walker" and was summarily baptized within a week of my birth (go, Mom - I couldn't get it together to have Liam and Ella baptized until they were 7 months old). Needing a name for the baptism, my parents culled from their own names and I was baptized Lee Frances Walker. Lee being my mother's middle name and Frances being the female variation of my father's first name. My mother, however, didn't like Lee as a first name for a baby; she thought it was too adult (because, you know, babies don't grow up or anything) so that is not the name that went on my birth certificate.

Apparently, way back when, you had time to file birth certificates. None of this name your baby before you leave the hospital and you can pick up the birth certificate within 10 days business. So...after much consideration and debate, coupled with my mother's desire to have a name that "sounded good with Walker," I was finally, officially Heather Lee Walker, "Heather" being my sister, A's, suggestion. Frances was dropped and I never liked the spelling of Lee. Fast forward to high school: I changed the spelling of Lee to Leigh and, to honor my father who died when I was 6, I took Frances back. So, then I was Heather Leigh Frances Walker. Sometimes, I feel a pang of guilt about changing the spelling of Lee and I know it made Mom a little sad, but it's Leigh and I'm sticking with it.

OK, but where the hell does "Flea" come from? Well...apparently, my mother reversed the order of Lee and Frances and created "Flea." I'll admit, I like Frances Lee much more than Lee Frances, but still - when she said it was my name, I looked at her as though she had 4 heads...because didn't she remember the very name she had given me?! Granted, when you've got 10 kids, it's hard to keep everyone straight.

So, that's where the Flea part comes from...

When I was contemplating starting a blog, I wanted to play off of my nickname and also convey how I try to live my life with gratitude. I batted different ideas around, with the top contender being "Gratefulea," but I wasn't sure if worked. So, I eventually settled on A Grateful Flea.

Because, really, that's who and what I am. A grateful flea.

And now you know.

In Case You're Wondering...

2010-10-27T07:43:00.004-04:00

...it is far easier to bang out an hour on the treadmill at 6:30 in the morning when you can watch a movie on closed captioning (as opposed to kids' programming) and have some great tunes on your work out playlist. The time passes more quickly and you're less tempted to peek at your progress. Just sayin'.

I try to pick a movie I've already seen at some point so that I don't have to pay close attention to it, but can still follow for the most part and also, because I only end up watching ~ 2/3 of any given movie, so I don't feel compelled to finish watching it once I'm off the 'mill. This morning's selection was The Rock and, although I already feel the need to create a new work out playlist, all of the songs that came up, save one, were just what I needed for some beats motivation.

Now, I need to shower. I stink.

Day 1 - Intro/Recent Pic/15 Interesting Facts

2010-10-26T16:24:00.011-04:00

As promised, I'll follow right up with the first of the 30 day posts. Since I can't get the picture to post properly, it's right here at the beginning. Frankly, there aren't any recent pictures of me, so I took this one just now to make up for that. I'm usually the one behind the camera, so that's the way the cookie crumbles. Here, I'm laughing at something Miss Ella was doing.

So...well, since I've had this blog for a while now, there is an intro waaaay back in the beginning, but it can't hurt to "update" me, can it? On facebook, my "about me" section reads as follows:

"Mother. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Friend. News junkie. Democrat. Wannabe quilter. Recovering Diet Coke addict. Gym rat. Reader. Fierce Trivial Pursuit player. All-around strong chick."

That's a pretty apt description. I might actually change the order of some of those descriptors, moving "Friend" higher up on the list. When I wrote it, though, I apparently felt the need to define myself in terms of my family relations first, so there you have it.

I'm a stay-at-home Mumma to 4 1/2 year-old twins - when did that happen? Age 35 is knocking on the door and will be here in a couple of weeks. The nearer I get to my birthday, the less bothered by the number I become - I'll admit to having some anxiety about the big 3-5 a few months ago, but I think it's mostly passed. If anything, I was more bothered by the fact that I was bothered to begin with, if that makes any sense. The real issue is that I just don't feel like I'm in my mid-30s, whatever that's supposed to feel like.

I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to be when I grow up. At some point, I think I would really like to go back to school and pursue a Master's in Social Work and work with sufferers of combat-induced PTSD. Let's just say that it's not a point people in my life can agree on. I wish I had more time to quilt and read. I really wish I had more time to work out. I joined a gym in January 2008 and quickly, and much to my surprise, became addicted to the endorphin high of a great work out. Sadly, over the past months, that aspect of my life has faded far into the background, but I'm beginning to reclaim it by working out at home and have definite plans to get back in the gym within the next month. I love my children more than I ever dreamed was imaginable, but will admit that motherhood is far more difficult than I thought it could be. It truly is the toughest job I'll ever love.

OK...15 "interesting" facts. I could be literal here and post any 15 facts, but I suppose I'll follow the intention of the post and make them facts about me. I just need to remember what I've already put out there, so as not to repeat myself.

The older I get, the more genuine confidence I develop.
My favorite cardio machine at the gym in the arc trainer. I love doing weights, though. I rock the leg press and smith squat.
I am in constant awe of my children.
My not-so-secret wish is to one day raise Liam and Ella in the house that I grew up in. It's a lovely old farmhouse on 20 acres of land.
I'd love to be a good gardener one day, and have a big garden. You know, at the house where I grew up.
I admit to owning Barbies when I was a little girl, but I am still confused as to how to raise such a girly daughter. Miss Ella is enamored of all things pink, Princess and sparkly. It confuses me.
I think intelligence is the most attractive quality in a man. That, and eyes.
It has been over a year since I've had a drop of Diet Coke. I spent more than 20 years of my life addicted to the stuff and then quit cold turkey one day last September. I thought it would be far more difficult than it was.
Now, my drinks of choice are unsweetened iced tea (light ice with lemon, of course!) and flavored seltzer water. Somehow, I learned to make it through the day without coffee.
I tend to be a night owl and routinely stay up until 1-2 AM. I'm working to change this, though, and am happy to say that I've actually made it to bed before 1 for the past few nights.
I miss my childhood best friend every day. Losing our friendship is one of the saddest experiences of my life. But, I guess that happens sometimes.
I have a thing for symmetry.
My son is better at using the Wii than I. Unless we're talking about the old school games. Then, I rule.
One of the most beautiful places on earth is Shaker Village. One day, I'd like to just go and be for a a while. Sitting in a chair overlooking the pond and just letting life pass me by as I soak in the natural beauty of the place.
Next year, preferably in the fall, I want to start a routine of taking the kids on hikes up north. I'm really looking forward to this.

Alright...that's it until tomorrow!

Back

2010-10-26T08:56:00.007-04:00

I'm stealing this from Lorraine's blog. (Thanks for the idea, Lorraine!) I've been avoiding posting anything here for quite some time, partly because I haven't had the time to put up anything I felt worthy of your time, but mostly because I am beyond sick and tired of the Chinese spammers.

So....here we go, folks. I'm back!

At least for the next 30 days, this is what I'll be up to here...

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you've traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you're afraid of
Day 11-Favorite TV shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you're looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you've learned
Day 25-Put your MP3 player on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture

Another One

2010-07-05T18:39:00.001-04:00

Ella's been into telling (really bad) knock-knock jokes lately. The other day, from the back seat, her brother decided he didn't want to play along any longer. This is what I heard:

Ella: Knock-knock!
*silence*
Ella: Knock-knock, Liam!
*silence*
Ella: Liam! KNOCK-KNOCK!
Liam: No one's home!

Answers To Questions I Still Get Asked

2010-07-03T23:30:00.003-04:00

Yes, my oldest sister also has twins. Yep, a set of boy/girl twins, too. The age difference is 23 years between my sister and me and 28 years between my niece and nephew and Liam and Ella.
Yes, I always had a feeling that I was going to have twins. Ever since I was about 10.
Nope, you're right, I don't know what it's like to "just have one."
No, it's not quite like "just doing everything twice."
I haven't had a solid night's sleep since sometime in 2005.
Technically Liam is a minute older, but who's counting?
Uhm, nope, they're not identical.
Nope, they're not "maternal" or "paternal," either.
Yep, they're fraternal.
Yes, as a matter of fact they do keep us on our toes.
Yes, I can tell them apart.
Well, I don't subscribe to the "one and done" philosophy, although if that's what works for you great! We'll see what the universe has in store for us.
Yes, I would love more children. See above.
Yes, even another set of twins. (This is my not so secret wish, actually.)
Well, double trouble *polite grin* sort of, but more so double blessing (not technically a question, I know, but a statement I hear a lot...still).

Recently Overheard

2010-06-29T10:44:00.002-04:00

The kids have been taking separate baths for a while now. Not because of any Victorian sense of propriety, but more out of necessity. They're just too big - and too rambunctious - to put in the bathtub together if I don't want my bathroom to get soaked.

The other night, while Ella was in the tub and Liam was waiting not-so-patiently for his bath, I happen to hear the following exchange:

Liam: "I want to get in the bath with you, Ella."
Ella: "No!"
Liam: "YES! I want to get in the bath RIGHT NOW!"
Ella: "No! I don't like your penis!"
Liam, very calmly and rationally: "Well, you don't have to look at it."

To which I couldn't help but laugh. You would have, too.

Sandwich

2010-06-25T22:59:00.004-04:00

Sometimes I wonder if my father hadn't died so early in my life - I was 6 - if I would be as acutely aware of my mother's mortality. The truth is, though, that even though my father's death did provoke a steady level of anxiety about Mom's health and eventual death (I think I held my breath on some level until my 18th birthday because I was very nervous about where I'd end up in the event that she died before I was of legal age), I was always hyperaware of my parents' age and the fact that some of my friends had grandparents who were the same age as my parents (it didn't help that my mother actually did come to grandparents' day at school one year, either).

What I'm getting at is that, even though I always knew it was inevitable, I'm living smack-dab in the middle of my own personal sandwich and finding some semblance of balance is more than a little tricky. I'm a stay-at-home Mom, and Josh is absolutely fabulous about being involved pretty much from the moment he walks the through the door at the end of the day, but Mom needs more and more consideration, for lack of a better word. She has enough nagging, nuisance health problems that can knock her out of commission at any given time - nothing that in and of itself is fatal or even life threatening, but issues that are constant and keep her functioning at less than 100%. And, really, at almost 77 years-old I'm not quite sure what "100%" would really mean. Lately, I've found myself describing it to others as "85% would be her 100%," but I might be being generous even with that.

Mom has Meniere's Disease, a condition of the inner ear that can cause her to lose her balance, have intense vertigo and nausea. Unfortunately, the attacks are random and increasing in severity as she ages. She can be confined to bed for up to a week or more when hit with symptoms - seriously, bending over to pick something up from the floor can land her in bed for days. Afterwards, it can take up to another week for her to really feel "normal." Her most recent attack, only a couple of weeks ago, brought her to tears (not the first time, but perhaps the most poignant) and made her realize that she shouldn't be living alone. Additionally, Mom suffers from intense postherpetic neuralgia following a nasty bout of shingles in late 2001/early 2002. She seems to have won the lottery for nuisance conditions, because this one really takes the cake when she has an attack. Rather than break out in another case of shingles, she develops severe pain on the left side of her head, radiating down her scalp and over her left eye. Again, another condition that can render her bed-ridden. Fortunately, these attacks seem to be brought on by stress, so she can try to prevent them but isn't always successful. The constant unknown of when another Meniere's attack will happen is something that provokes a great deal of constant anxiety for her and, coupled with the stressors of everyday life as the matriarch of a large family (some of which are greater than others - ranging from the death of a husband, two sons and a son-in-law to somewhat petty, though justified at the time, squabbles amongst us kids) and she can develop a case at any time. On top of all of this, Mom's got Type II diabetes, but really we don't worry all that much about this one. Her numbers aren't so out of whack that it requires major intervention but it is one more thing to always keep in mind.

We do have some health victories, too. This past January, Mom marked 5 years free of invasive breast cancer that, fortunately, did not require chemo or radiation following, her partial mastectomy (not that it wasn't recommended, she just refused both options). And, the fact that her diabetes is pretty much under control is a good thing.

So...Mom's constantly on my mind. Constantly. As J and I try to navigate the waters of preschool parenting (yes, still planning to homeschool but to also enroll the kids in activities this coming fall...dance, gymanstics and some sort of martial arts are high on the list right now), we (read: mostly me) are also trying to negotiate the path our lives should take as a family with the increasing demands of parenthood and parent care. Granted, I have other siblings who are not out of the picture when it comes to Mom's care, but it's more than a silent understanding among us that I am the one who'll be her primary caretaker.

Take today for instance, Mom had an appointment to have what she described as "a little something" removed from the side of her right breast. Well, turns out it was a rather large sebaceous cyst that required 8 stitches to close up and was "deeper and much larger" than even her surgeon realized upon first examination (Mom is a deeply private person, so, even though she understands the importance of maintaining good health, for her to even allow someone to look at "a little something" on her body is a Big Deal).

Late last night, Mom decided she didn't want to go to the appointment alone and asked me to take her. First stop: can J work from home? Nope. He had a meeting that he had to attend in person. Second stop: verify that Cait's working on Friday and therefore can't watch the kids. Yep, Cait's working and there's a special event at the store, so not able to call in. Third stop: see if my sister, N - the sibling who lives closest to me, and her kids are around and open to the idea of having L & E over. Success!

After a round of phone calls to figure out if I'd bring the kids to N's or she and the kids would come here (we settled on my bringing the kids to her house), the plan was set. She'd asked that I leave car seats when I dropped the kids off, so J dutifully removed the seats from his car. Fast forward ~ an hour later: J calls from work to relay that his meeting had been cancelled and he can come home to be with kids and work from home the rest of the day. Cue another flurry of phone calls to figure out what to do - ultimate decision was made to just have J come home and that Liam and Ella could play at N's another day.

Today went fine enough. The doctor removed all of the cyst and she didn't have too much discomfort. I picked up some groceries, visited for a while and got Mom settled comfortably before I left. Right now, everything's A OK. But, there'll be something else, more likely than not in the near future, and I need to figure out how to best be available to my family and Mom. Lately, J and I have been toying with the idea of moving, but we can't go too far because we're already 20 minutes away from Mom and, in the event of an emergency, getting to her could take anywhere from 30 to God-knows-how-long, depending on any number of factors.

Add to all of this the fact that, though J's parents are currently in central New York (a 5 hour trip), a few serious health scares over the past 5 or so years have really made their situation uncertain, too. And, we'll most likely end up being their caretakers, too.

So...how to find balance? How to make our own life, raising our children the way we like (we'd like to simplify our life - hence talk of moving, but that's an entirely different post), while simultaneously being available to Mom and J's parent (if/when needed)? I'm not complaining about this situation at all. Just trying to find my (our) way.

How do we build this ever-changing sandwich?

Then & Now

2010-05-17T00:06:00.004-04:00

January 1, 2009

May 16, 2010

Congratulations!

Cheers!

2010-05-16T23:57:00.003-04:00

What a GORGEOUS day for a wedding! It was sunny and bright, not a cloud in the sky. The temperature was perfect and there was even a great (strong at times) breeze.

Cait and Jeeps were married Sunday and it was perfect. Of course, I cried walking down the aisle, and when they exchanged vows. My shoes could have been used as an implement of torture (true story: I ended up taking them off half way through the Mass because I was going to fall over in pain if I didn't), but my solo went off quite well and the reception was a VERY good time (I cried a LOT during my toast, but my waterproof mascara stayed in place!). Alas, I couldn't find my camera (because Cait had to take it away from Ella while we were getting ready and I had no clue where she put it) so I'm relying on others' photos but trust me when I say it was just beautiful.

All of her hard work paid off and I hope they enjoy their little get away to Maine.

Of Course...

2010-05-14T23:21:00.001-04:00

...I think the promise of Super Mario Galaxy 2 when he fully trains might have something to do with it, but, again, I'm not complaining!

Finally, A Glimmer of Hope!

2010-05-14T23:18:00.002-04:00

Liam pooped on the toilet tonight!

I was working out downstairs at the time, but apparently it was a bit of a surprise to him. He was, however, VERY proud of himself and is (hopefully) looking forward to future trips to the bathroom.

Of course, he has to pick the wedding weekend to decide it's a good time to use the toilet on a regular basis, but I'm not complaining.

Keep your fingers crossed that he keeps it up!

Just Wondering...

2010-05-13T17:42:00.002-04:00

The kids, well Liam in particular, have been crazy into Super Mario Galaxy lately. So...the other day, while going through instant queue selections from Netflix, I came across the Super Mario Bros. Super Show (which is pretty AWFUL, btw, but Ella loves it) and added it to the queue for our Roku.

Now, I used to be a pretty good Super Mario Bros. player back in the day, but I got to thinking...

Was Mario's name Mario Mario? If they're the Mario brothers and his first name is Mario, doesn't it follow that their last name is Mario? So then was his brother Luigi Mario?

Surely I'm giving this too much thought.

Random Commentary on DWTS

2010-05-04T12:23:00.003-04:00

I think Team Madonna didn't have a fair shot at winning or tying the Cha-Cha-Challenge last night on DWTS. For starters, the song wasn't nearly as good to dance to as Team GaGa's. I do think Team Madonna worked together more as a team, though, and had a decent showing.

My prediction is that Pam or Niecy goes tonight.

A Fortune Cookie Saying, Perhaps?

2010-05-02T11:15:00.003-04:00

I put the title of the last post into translate.google.com and it came out as this...

Without reflecting on life is not worth living people

沒有經過反省的人生，是不值得活的人

2010-05-01T21:23:00.003-04:00

I have no idea what, if anything, the title of this post means, but the Chinese spammers are really beginning to bug me!
I picked up my shoes for the wedding tonight. They had to be dyed and, even though the color in the book matched my shrug EXACTLY, they came out a little more on the rose side than the cranberry side. They'll have to do, I suppose.
We did nearly three (3!) hours of yard work today, all of it in the back yard. Our neighbor told us that we apparently had an over 8-foot tall female moose in our back yard this morning! That's just crazy.
It feels good to have been outside and so productive. There's more to be done, but the yard's looking good.
I've been in a bit of a funk lately and I can't seem to shake it. I don't really know where it's coming from, either, and that bothers me. Ah, well.
T-minus 2 weeks until the wedding! I hope it's a beautiful day, but I'm fairly certain that I'm the not only one who will be relieved when it's over.
I think that I may have hit upon THE motivational tool for finally getting the boy child to fully potty train: tootsie rolls! He tried one the other day and LOVED it. Chocolate chips didn't work, m n ms didn't work, but I think (fingers crossed!) that tootsie rolls may do the trick. There's no real reason for him not to be trained. He admits it's pretty much sheer laziness and that the pull-ups are just "easier" than using the bathroom, but he REALLY loves those tootsie rolls and I'm hoping I've hit on potty training gold.
I'm trying to convince J that we need a new bed. I can't get comfortable in bed anymore and I wake up every morning with lower back pain. Our bed's 11 years old and in decent shape, but it's just not possible for me to get a good night's sleep anymore. J could sleep well on a bed of nails, and I admit that I can be a bit Princess and the Pea about my sleeping accommodations (must have fan for while noise and really, really can't tolerate the slightest bit of light creeping in), but something needs to be done and, hopefully, soon.
I'm having my hair cut Tuesday night and I can't wait. It's still short, but my bangs are rapidly getting out of control and, although the cut has held its shape well (my last cut was at the end of January and I went pretty short because my stylist was going out on maternity leave), I definitely need to clean it up.
I'm feeling the need to be creative. I think I may try to go back to the quilt studio. I used to go on a regular basis before the kids were born, but I've only managed to make it in there once in the last 4 years. I'm hoping to work something out with Mom where she'll watch the kids on a Thursday so I can go during the day. The studio is quite popular and it can be difficult to get a machine if you go in the evenings. I really miss quilting and am hoping that, if I make time for it regularly outside of home, then I'll be able to find a place for it at home, too. I have the physical space, but I need to find the time and emotional room for it at home. There's so much I want to do! I just need 20 of me to do it all...

Something New Leads to Brand Loyalty

2010-04-26T10:20:00.003-04:00

I've always enjoyed Sun Chips, but I've never really gone out of my way to purchase them. Back when I was in school and, later, when I worked at the library, I would grab a bag from the vending machine when the mid-afternoon munchies hit because they were they best option in the machine.

After church yesterday, I hit the grocery store to pick up a few things and I saw the chips, in their new 100% compostable bag and I decided to grab a couple different flavors.

The bags are crazy loud, but the chips are delicious, good for you, and the packaging helps the planet (and the kids loved them, bonus!).

Now, I will definitely make it a point to purchase the chips to have on hand as a snack for my family.

Earth Day Play (& New Shoes, Too!)

2010-04-22T23:29:00.002-04:00

During our walk last night, I promised the kids that we could go to the playground at the North End of town today if the weather was good. The weather cooperated, so I stuck to my word and we had a marathon session at the playground. There were a few sets of kids over the couple of hours that we were there and they were all fun to play with and the other mothers and I enjoyed talking (I'm still new-ish to negotiating parental playground etiquette). Towards the end of our play time, I noticed a man and young girl on the perimeter of the playground and park area, cleaning up. I thanked him to all of his hard work (he had several bags full of junk that had accumulated over the winter months) and it turns out that every year, on Earth Day, he takes his daughter to clean up the park and playground so that everyone can enjoy a clean place to play. How cool is that?! I thought that was just awesome...and what a fabulous for his daughter!

After our visit to the playground, I brought the kids up to the outlet mall in Tilton to check out some new shoes. Ella wore an older pair of shoes last night while we were out and ended up getting a couple of blisters (even though she swore that her feet "felt great" whenever I asked her how she was doing). Imagine how much of a schmucky mother I felt like when I found out that her feet were a full TWO SIZES larger than the sneakers she wore into the store (note: those are not the shoes she was wearing last night; for the record, we'd never had a problem getting her sneakers on and she'd never complained about the fit). Now, she and Liam are sporting some snazzy new sneaks that even glow in the dark that they were very excited to show off to Nana after we visited the shoe store.

Tonight, even though we'd had a good run around the playground for 2+ hours, I did a half hour of upper body weight training on my stability ball and then did a 2 mile Leslie DVD for the lower body. I feel very good.

More Bullet Points

2010-04-22T00:27:00.005-04:00

Went out for a long family walk with the kids tonight, including visits to two different playgrounds. Ella completely inserted herself into a group of older girls at the first playground we went to. It was very interesting and cute to watch. The girls totally let her in and she ran around and played with them, and was very bummed when it came time for them to leave.
I'm loving how wiped out the kids are from playing outside...it makes for fabulous, restful sleep for them!
I'm thrilled, THRILLED that Kate is finally gone from DWTS. Yeah, yeah, yeah...she was making infinitesimal progress on the dance floor, but her being a contestant was a joke!
Cait, Ella and I went to our hair stylist last night to have our hair played with for the wedding. Oh my, did Miss Ella love it! She was so. damn. cute. I, on the other hand, have hair too short to be played with and will have to settle for flat ironing on the Big Day. *sigh*
The kids' birthday party went quite well on Sunday. I'm still pretty tired from the lack of sleep leading up to the day...my late nights are catching up with me, but I never learn. The perils of being a night owl. I was literally functioning on 3 hours and 15 minutes of sleep for all of Sunday, but it all went well. The sun even came out for a bit and Liam enjoyed walking his grandparents' dog several times (the highlight of the day for him, I'm sure).
Last Friday, Mom and I took the kids to Funspot for the first time ever. I was a little concerned about the trip, but it went very well. I'm not huge on the whole indoor arcade thing, but the place was totally dead and L & E stuck to the little kids' area, which was awesome. Again, I LOVE AGE 4! Funspot plays a pivotal role in some happy childhood memories for me, but that's before the place expanded and became ginormous. Still, though, it was a hoot to see the kids riding on the same little bumper cars that I used to ride when I was a kid. Ahhhh, memories.
This week is draaaaaaaaaging. Just sayin'.

Catching My Breath

2010-04-16T14:04:00.002-04:00

Boy...you guys aren't really keeping me honest!

Actually, someone has been on my case for not blogging regularly...so here I am :)

Life has been going at a pretty breakneck pace lately, but it has also been filled with Leslie workouts and lots of outdoor play and yard work, so I've been doing a pretty good job of keeping my word when it comes to getting at least 30 minutes of exercise everyday.

I've had two Pampered Chef shows in the past week and they were both good fun. One was for a friend of mine and the other was for my sister. Next month is our fundraiser for the American Cancer Society with our Help Whip Cancer campaign and I'm hoping to book a few more shows. It's a cause very close to my heart, since Mom's a breast cancer survivor.

Liam and Ella turned 4 last Friday and we didn't get to the Childrens' Museum, as I'd hoped, but we had a nice, relaxing day together as a family. We went out to lunch and Mom joined us, as a surprise to the kids; then we had a nice time visiting with Cait and Jeeps during the evening. I can't believe my monkeys are 4...where have my babies gone?! I will say, though, that what I've heard about Age 4 is true. It is SO MUCH BETTER than Age 3! We started to notice it early last week, as their birthday drew near, and have definitely seen a difference this week. Sure, they're still crazy bugs at some points, but I love Age 4! By this time last year, I was already none too happy with Age 3...funny that.

The kids' birthday party is this Sunday and I'm more than a little annoyed that I listened to a certain sister of mine who was a stress case months ago that I couldn't have the party on the Sunday after their birthday (which would have been last Sunday, when the weather was nice) because it would interfere with her plans for her birthday (which was last Monday). That sister and I are currently not speaking, but I went ahead and accommodated her and didn't plan the party for last Sunday and now I'm kicking myself because it's going to be rainy and dreary this Sunday. *grumble*grumble* I've been busy trying to clean and organize for the party and, since it looks like we'll be stuck inside, I really need to get on that some more. We did buy a new grill last night - it's so cute! - so I still may send J out to grill on Sunday, but other than that, I've got a bunch of stuff to do.

I bought a new Leslie DVD which I can't wait to try out. It's a 5-mile total workout, but you can break it down into 1-mile segments. Being a "go big or go home" kind of chick, though, I plan to do all 5 miles whenever I do it. It's my second 5-mile Leslie DVD and I really enjoy the other one, so I'm hoping this one is just as good. When I have the time, I want to go through the various workouts available On Demand and see what's there.

Now...I must find chocolate. I think it's time to make brownies on this cold, rainy, cruddy day.

Rediscovering

2010-04-08T00:35:00.003-04:00

Whew! This week is half over and that's pretty fabulous. Tonight, I had dinner out with Friend Katie (which is what the kids, especially Ella, call her and I think it's an awesome nickname) and her mother. Her mom's going to be hosting a Pampered Chef show so we all got together to talk about it and plan for the show. We had a lovely dinner and visit and I'm very excited about the upcoming show.

Since I knew I was going to be home close to bedtime, I had to wait for the kids to be totally asleep before I could workout (if they'd heard me come home, there would have been serious demands for snuggling and then I most likely would have fallen asleep and not gotten out of there in time). So I was planning for tonight to be a shorter workout than I've been doing lately. I chose another Leslie DVD, Walk Strong. I haven't done it in a while and I forgot exactly what it entailed. It's a fast paced walk with intervals of strength training done with a resistance band. I boosted it by using a medium resistance band and then shortening it to really ramp up the level of resistance. I really like this workout.

By the way, someone needs to send a memo to Mother Nature. It's early April in New Hampshire and it's way too warm and humid already. Ugh!

Thunderstorms Are Brewing

2010-04-06T23:16:00.002-04:00

What on earth made Kate Gosselin think she could be on Dancing With the Stars? I'm watching last night's episode on DVR and she is beyond awful. She better go next week! Poor Tony. Also, I'm not too thrilled with Brooke Burke as a co-host. Then again, I never liked Samantha Harris, either.

Today I was able to get outside for a bit before it started to rain and did an hour of yardwork. That's my workout for the day; the fresh air was great and I wanted to change up what I'm doing physically.

I don't know what's up lately, but the kids have been c-r-a-z-y. I'm hoping it's just that they're excited for their birthday, which is Friday. J's taking the day off and we're going to do what we do every year, which is spend the day together as a family and do something special and new. I'd like to go out for a nice birthday breakfast and then I'm thinking we might go to the Children's Museum of New Hampshire. We've not been and I think it'd make for a nice day.

Now...I just need to survive the next two days with my insane little monkeys.

Combo

2010-04-05T22:33:00.003-04:00

It was already shaping up to be a hectic week, but last night's little drama with my sister just added to the insanity that will be. But, it all culminates in the Muffins' birthday on Friday, which is most definitely a good thing (though where is the time going?! 4 years already?! Where are my babies?)

It was a pretty ugh kind of day. Liam was a little maniac when I ventured to Lowe's to get some stuff to do yard work (yep, I was that mother with the crazy screaming, fit-throwing kid) and, prior to that, Liam and Ella spent a better part of the morning and early afternoon trying to kill each other. It was just one of those days.

Tonight, I decided to switch up the workouts for a little change of pace. I combined two DVDs: Biggest Loser Cardio Max*, which I did the warm-up and first segment of (which kind of makes me believe that Bob Harper might be a little evil, but it's a good 20 minute sweat fest) and then I did Leslie's Walk Off Even More Weight, which has 2 2-mile walks. I did the classic walk with the weight belt, and boosted it with the weighted gloves, too.

Now that all's said and done, I'm a sweaty stinky mess and am going to go take a shower.

*I like the intensity of the BL workouts, because Bob and Jillian are fabulous trainers (Kim's on the Cardio Max, too), but the DVDs are a bit chaotic and leave something to be desired. Yes, it's nice and, to some extent, inspiring that they use previous contestants in the workouts, but they definitely lack finesse and there are times when they're literally going in different directions - I guess it seems a bit cheesy at times.

Fail

2010-04-05T00:12:00.002-04:00

We had a lovely Easter and then all hell broke loose this evening with some epic family drama (not within my nuclear family unit, with one of my sisters - all is seemingly OK now, so don't worry).

I wasn't able to workout tonight and I really, really needed it.

Suck.

Almost, But Not Quite, A Puker

2010-04-03T16:17:00.003-04:00

My car needed a little servicing this morning, so J and the kids followed me down to Manchester and then we went out to lunch at one of our favorite places. I ran a few more errands (the Easter Bunny had to pick up a few last items at the best candy store around) and then came home to workout before heading to Easter Vigil Mass tonight (Cait and JP are coming into the church tonight and it's very exciting).

Apparently, my lunch was heavier than I thought. Today's workout was another Leslie DVD, Walk Away Your Hips and Thighs, which is a 2 mile walk with stretching and a 20 minute lower-body workout with resistance bands around your ankles. I made it through the walk and stretching just fine, but something in the lower body workout nearly did me in. I made it through, but came this close to losing my lunch.

Phew!

Tonight's Mass should be beautiful. Easter Vigil always begins in darkness and then everyone lights a candle...it's quite a magical sight. Once I get home, it'll be a mad dash to prep for tomorrow. Eggs to stuff, baskets to make up, a guest room to clean (because Cait and Jeeps asked to sleep over at the last minute), and food to make for tomorrow.

Have a very Happy Easter!

Another Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

2010-04-02T22:58:00.002-04:00

Today was spent mostly outside again. I even have a little v-neck shaped sunburn (since I never tan and am the palest person I know). We ended up going to the biggest park/playground in Concord with Jeeps' family, where the kids had a blast. Then, all of the kids played here while I was quasi domestic. I need to wade through my clothing and dig out my warm weather stuff. Not really something I look forward to.

Tonight's workout was another Leslie Sansone DVD. I really love her stuff and own quite a few of her DVDs so you'll most likely be seeing her titles a lot when I workout at home. So
I did the Punch Up Your Walk 4 mile walk with weighted gloves and boosted with the weighted belt, too.

It's going to be a busy, busy weekend, but I'm on a roll and intend to keep it up.

This Is Just Too Funny...And Awesome

2010-04-01T23:37:00.000-04:00

Let The Sun Shine In!

2010-04-01T23:18:00.003-04:00

Today was gorgeous! We spent all afternoon outside playing and the kids and I went for a walk, too. Jeeps' brother and sister-in-law and their kids came up for the weekend to visit the 'rents (who live across the street). Liam and Ella adore the kids, so it was a great afternoon of playing and getting some much needed fresh air.

Tonight brought an unplanned trip to the gym. Mom's sick and asked me to pick up a prescription for her so I used it as a reason to head up to the gym, although my plan had been to workout at home. Generally, I try to avoid going to the gym on Thursday nights because the TVs are unavoidable and J and I DVR Survivor to watch after the kids are in bed. Needless to say, I know who gets voted off and I'm psyched about it (but J and I still need to watch the entire episode and I'm doing a fantastic job of not spilling the beans about the vote).

So...tonight I did 25 minutes on the arc trainer, my absolute favorite machine at the gym, and 25 more on the elliptical. Not too shabby. I cranked up the resistance on the arc and I did a cross training program on the elliptical, so I'm definitely feeling my workout.

I stopped by Mom's on my way home, gave her her medication and visited for a bit. Now, I'm relaxing with J and getting ready to settle in to watch Survivor.

A good day indeed.

Accountability

2010-03-31T23:45:00.003-04:00

I'm going to do something new. Note that I didn't say "try." I'm totally going Yoda on this.

It's no secret that I love working out. With the damn pneumonia and bilateral ear infections of the past month, it should be painfully obvious that I haven't been working out steadily for quite a while. And it has sucked.

Now that the crazy winter of illness is hopefully (fingers so crossed!) behind us, I am vowing to workout EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I headed back into the gym last week for a few days and it felt great, but I slacked off over the weekend. Part of the logic in refinishing the basement last summer was so that I'd have a great workout space here at home, too. So I have no excuse for not working out. Fortunately, J found just the right way to guilt/persuade me that, even though it was after 9 pm, I could still squeeze a workout in tonight. I came up with this accountability plan while I was sweating in the basement. The irony is that I need to workout the most when I feel least like doing it.

So, with you as my witnesses, I am pledging to do something every day. It's not always going to be a killer weight and cardio sweatfest at the gym, but I will do something for at least 30 minutes every day. And you must hold me accountable. I will post every day what I've done and, if I don't, you have my full permission to harass me...on here, on facebook, in real life, via text...seriously, any way you can think of to kick my ass into gear.

OK? OK.

So...tonight I did Leslie Sansone's Walk Away The Pounds Express 3 mile workout, boosted with a weight belt, weighted gloves and a medium resistance stretchie band.

It felt great.

We're All Unique In Some Way, Right?

2010-03-13T21:56:00.005-05:00

This winter has been a sucky one in terms of getting sick. The kids have only had a couple of minor colds, but since November, I've been battling my typical sore throat/sinus infection/bronchitis trifecta off and on every few weeks. I'd be sick for a couple of weeks and then feel alright for a few more and then get hit again. I know me and I know my body. Usually, I ride it out unless it gets unbearable. (And, you know, I'm a tough chick so "unbearable" means "pretty effing ridiculous and intolerable.")

Needless to say, I've been riding it out. I don't remember if I've blogged about this before or not, but I'm a bit of a "sickness eater." There was this movie a while back (yeah, now I think I've mentioned this before but I'm going to be lazy and not go back and find the link...sorry) in which a character offers absolution to a dying person by eating his/her sins, clearing the path to Heaven. Ever since I saw that movie, I've joked that I'm a sickness eater. I catch pretty much everything that's going around at any given time. Working out has been a major boost to my immune system, but I still get hit. Rarely, though, do I go to the doctor. I just suffer and wait. Usually, I'm down for 10-14 days and then I'm good as new. Now, the really weird part is that no one, I mean NO ONE, has ever gotten sick from me. In over 13 years of marriage, J has never once gotten sick from me. Sure, we've been sick with the same thing at the same time, but invariably he contracted it first. Throughout my entire life this is how it's worked for some odd reason. No one gets sick from me and I always get sick in the same way. I get a sore throat for 2-3 days, then I develop a sinus infection (I have sinus disease which sounds way worse than it is...basically, I have impacted sinuses so when I come down with something my sinuses get hit hard because there's always something going on up there), and, lastly, I develop bronchitis. This is how it's been ever since I can remember. The severity of the sore throats lessened after I had my tonsils out when I was in 8th grade, but still, that's how my body rolls with sickness. There's not much to do about it other than wait it out.

The last time I went to the doctor for being sick like this, I was 5 months pregnant and was beyond wrecked. Pregnancy complicates illness anyway, and I was crazy sick (I had to sleep sitting up for a long time and ended up moving down to the couch because there was no position in bed that worked for me...I stayed on the couch for the rest of the pregnancy and beyond). I've been sick now for over two weeks. Liam came down with it first and kindly shared with the rest of us, including Cait and Jeeps. I, of course, was hit the hardest. The kids must have killer immune systems because they were only out of it for a couple of days. J was hit a little harder and had one bad night of the chills and sweats. I thought I was getting better and then BOOM! It rebounded on me on Thursday. It hit me like a damn Mack truck and I finally relented and went to walk-in care today. Well...drum roll, please...I think I've been battling the same thing all winter, with it getting progressively worse over the months. Now, I have an ear infection and pneumonia on top of my usual (well, OK, substitute pneumonia for my usual bronchitis). (This on top of having my wisdom teeth removed on Monday - it's been quite the week!) The doctor, for his part, doesn't want to ever hear about how the pathology of my illness is always the same, nor does he care one whit that I'm never contagious...what the hell do I know? I've only been living in this body for nearly 35 (!) years. He just writes the scripts and tells me not to wait so long next time. Yeah, well, I don't really have time to be sick, sir. It doesn't usually turn into pneumonia.

*coughcough*. So...that's me, in the corner, curled up in a ball attempting to breathe without hacking up a lung and trying not be too doped up on my cough medication.

How are you?

My Bullet-Pointed Life

2010-02-24T23:21:00.004-05:00

I switched the home location for my gym from Concord to Belmont. Ever since I switched gyms altogether last August, I've not been as thrilled with the new one. I loved working out at Gold's, but the owner was crazy and it was mighty expensive. Over the past couple of years, I've been lucky enough to work with some great trainers; I know my way around, feel confident in what I'm doing, and really, really love working out. So...when I wasn't as happy with the new gym, my motivation kind of went south. Now, though, I am loving my choice to switch. It's further away, but it's so worth it. I'm actually really enjoying the longer drive, because it's pretty much the only time I get to myself.
My nephew ended up back in the hospital late last week. His vision was beginning to go and he was directed to head back to Boston for immediate care. Fortunately, they were able to save his vision, but they've had to treat the Susac's more aggressively and it was a disheartening setback for my sister and nephew. Hopefully, the new regimen works better.
Cait and Jeeps have set their wedding date for May 16th. Originally, they were getting married on October 16th, but there's a chance that he may be deployed so the date's been moved up. It's a good thing that I've found my workout mojo again because this matron-of-honor needs to kick her butt into shape!
I hate the end of winter. We were supposed to get hit with a big storm today and though parts of New Hampshire did, all we got was rain. Boo! I love winter, but when we get to this time of year where everything is just grey and dirty and gross I just want to jump into nice spring weather (but don't get me wrong...fall and winter are BY FAR my favorite seasons; I am not a fan of the warmth). I don't like the yuck limbo that we're dealing with right now. In theory, we're getting another storm tomorrow. I'll keep my fingers crossed for one more big blast of snow before we're in the dregs of March.
It's shaping up to be a crazy Spring. I'm throwing Cait's shower, Easter, the kids' 4th birthday (and, of course, the party) and then the wedding. The next few months will most definitely be a whirlwind.
Back in November, I caught a rerun of an episode of Bones one afternoon at the gym. I decided that we should get it through netflix. We are so addicted! It used to be that we would sit on our netflix DVDs forEVER, but not anymore! We're going through nearly 2 discs a week and are nearly finished with the second season. I love the relationship between Bones and Booth.

Random Commentary On A Grammy Performance

2010-01-31T21:49:00.001-05:00

I think Taylor Swift is cute and all, but I don't think she's all that great live.

Help

2010-01-14T09:34:00.003-05:00

The earthquake in Haiti is beyond tragic.

Click on any organization's name to donate to:

Go. Help. Now!

Dx

2010-01-08T13:50:00.003-05:00

My nephew was transferred from Vermont to Mass General late Wednesday night. After extensive testing that lasted all day yesterday, they've finally arrived at a diagnosis. Thankfully, they were able to make the diagnosis without having the perform the double brain biopsy which they'd been planning.

My nephew's undergoing heavy immuno-suppressant therapy to combat the symptoms, but at least his condition is not fatal. The extent of his recovery remains to be seen.

Thank you for your prayers and good wishes.

Am I Sexist?

2010-01-08T10:30:00.003-05:00

I used my new GPS the other night (and totally loved it!). As I was heading out, though, it dawned on me very quickly that, although the female voice giving me directions was quite polite, I prefer taking directions from a man. (Really, this is ironic, because I am most definitely the alpha and, in terms of going anywhere, I'm the one in charge. J hates to drive...maybe that's why the preference for a male voice since he's usually my navigator?)

When I got home J and I went through the voice options and we found a lovely male voice with a British accent that I'll be more than happy to have direct me.

ps - The friction mount is awesome!

Five Years!

2010-01-05T11:50:00.004-05:00

Today marks Mom's 5th anniversary of being cancer-free. I'm so proud to be her daughter. Below is a letter to the editor of a small local paper written by a member of Mom's choir and published on Christmas Eve. It captures perfectly how amazing Mom truly is and how lucky we are to have her.

*************

To the Editor:

Sometimes when we live among legends it is difficult to identify with their greatness. Legends capture our admiration, our respect, our faith, and our love. But when we see them week to week and share the common threads that are the odyssey of life, the joy of good fortune and new life, the despair of family tragedy and just plain bad luck, the presence of greatness is easily overlooked.

For decades the faith community in the Lakes Region and beyond, in particular St. Mary of the Assumption Parish in Tilton, has been blessed with a powerful force of good transcended in the form of music. It exists through the continued development of a wonderful talent for piano and pipe organ, a feel for timing and mood, and an unwavering passion for the ministry of music.

There is one among us who has been there time and again all around the region providing the comfort of music at some of the most important times in people’s lives, has prodded and encouraged and rallied the troops, and helped build confidence in all who love to sing
and make music but are hindered by self-consciousness. And has set an awesome example through a strong sense of faith and dedication to her community. Rejoice, for there is a living legend among us: our very own Nancy Walker.

Kent Finemore
Northfield

Prayers Needed

2010-01-04T16:50:00.001-05:00

My nephew is very sick. They still don't know what's going on and he's deteriorating quickly.

Please pray.

Thank you.

You Know You're From New England When...

2010-01-04T10:31:00.001-05:00

... you step outside and 26* feels balmy. And, really, in January it is.

Before & After

2010-01-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

The Kitchen Before:

And the AMAZING After!

Don't you just love it?!

In Review

2009-12-31T14:08:00.035-05:00

Admittedly, I'm a shitty blogger. I'm sorry. However, here's 2009 in review. What a year it's been...

January:

Generally speaking, I loathe January. Call it a post-Holiday slump or whatever you like, but it's always been my least favorite month, with March coming in a close second. I've always found January to be a drag of a month, but it started out on a high note, with Cait and JP becoming engaged on New Year's Day.

I think they're closer to settling on a date, which means I need to keep on track with shaping up and losing some more weight, as I'm the matron of honor, thank you very much. I'm very proud of both Cait and Jeeps and am very much looking forward to their wedding.

I watched the inauguration of President Obama with immense pride. What a great day for our country!

The saddest part of January, which made life difficult for pretty much the rest of the year, was the passing of naptime. Ella arbitrarily decided that she no longer needed to nap and, because her brother will not sleep without her in the room and despite valiant efforts on my part, naptime was pretty much a thing of the past by the end of the month. You cannot begin to imagine the depths of my envy when I hear other Moms talk about how their children still nap.

February:

The highlight of February was finally convincing J to get DVR. Oh, how we've snowballed that one! It took forever to get him to agree to it and now we're all super high-tech in the living room. Flat screen TV, HD DVR, Blu-ray player...we're goofs.

I don't know if they fully get it, but these kids are going to get away with so much in life because they are so damn cute. Here's an example of naptime being avoided and a moment of random adorableness. They were playing in a box that Mom had brought over for them.

March:

I was pretty productive in March. Getting stuff done around the house and planning for Easter and the kids' 3rd birthday party in early April. On a warm Sunday, we took an impromptu trip to the coast and introduced the kids to the ocean.

Little did we know that our lives would be turned upside down a couple of weeks later.

At the end of the month, very early on the morning of March 28th to be exact, my cell phone rang. It was my mother telling me that my brother-in-law had just committed suicide. The shock still hasn't worn off and the rest of the year has been clouded by the shadow of Mark's death. It's been truly amazing to see how my family came together - and still rallies - to support my sister, N, my nieces and nephew, but the overwhelming tragedy of it all still engulfs many of us to a great extent.

April:

April was pretty much a blur of sadness, but Liam and Ella had their first Easter egg hunt, turned 3, and we went to see a Thomas the Tank Engine show (which was a good deal of fun, I'll admit).

Mom was very ill with a terrible case of pneumonia (courtesy of my sister showing up to Easter dinner sick...but, hey!, it was her birthday and she just had to celebrate with someone - nevermind the fact that no one was in a mood to celebrate and we were all just going through the motions), but the month ended on a positive parenting note, with Ella making great strides in potty training (find the silver linings where you will, right?).

May:

After corresponding for a few months, I met my long lost sister. It was a wonderful time and we've stayed in touch since (though we've both been very busy lately and it hasn't been as often as I'd like, but we know the other is out there and that's what matters).

June:

Life settled into a new pattern, post-Mark, and I made it a priority to try and make good memories for the kids. Mom and I took them to The Butterfly Place and had a lovely visit.

We visited York's Wild Animal Kingdom and had a nice time overall, despite a major meltdown on she-child's part.

Cait and I undertook The Great Basement Cleanout and organized the unfinished side of the basement and fully cleared out the finished side so that it could be redone. I know, I know I haven't posted "after" pictures yet. Trust me when I say that it's been a fabulous improvement and that having a third floor of living space has been a hugely great thing.

July:

As part of the basement renovation, we moved the futon out of the kids' room and they moved into big kid beds! That was a big day in our house!

For the second year in a row, we ventured up North for A Day Out With Thomas (yes, it's been a big Thomas year). It was so much better than last year! The kids had a blast and really enjoyed the day. I don't know if we'll do it again in 2010, but it is a fun event.

July saw Mom turn 76 and Cait turn 23. It was a sucky wet summer for the most part and we were stuck indoors most of the time. We didn't get to use the deck much, but we did have a very nice July 5th celebration with Cait, Jeeps, Mom and "friend Katie" (as Ella calls her to distinguish her from Caitlin).

I became a pretty decent baseball fan in July and got really into the Red Sox. Am very much looking forward to next baseball season with the new TV!

August:

We finally had some real summer weather in August and actually had to make use of our air conditioners. The rain continued, though, and we didn't do much. The weekend before Labor Day, however, we visited Clark's Trading Post and had an amazing day. It was just fabulous all around and filled with memories that melt my heart.

August was significant, because I hit a major milestone.

September:

Uhm....don't have much for September. This is where I really gave up any pretense of calling myself a blogger. Life just started to get in the way in a big way. I switched gyms and that's been alright. I was happy to get out of the insanity that was the Concord Gold's, but my new gym is a bit of a downgrade. However, they have a franchise up near Mom and, on Sundays, we head up there and she watches the kids while J and I have gym dates and workout together. Then we wrap it up with a nice family dinner. Now that the insanity of the Holidays has passed, I'm most looking forward to that routine starting up again.

October:

Ah...my favorite time of year! J turned 36 and we celebrated our 13th anniversary (go, us!). We had a little escape up North, which really turned out to be almost more trouble than it was worth. But, any alone time is good time, right?

Early in the month, J and I signed a contract to completely remodel the kitchen. Little did I know that it would mean the work would be done 11 days before Christmas! All of the stress and hassle was entirely worth it, though.

On October 18th, Cait, Katie and I participated in the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk and it was great. It snowed the entire time and was freezing! On a whim, I brought the kids (who had the best seat in the house, snuggled in under wool blankets and protected by their weather shield), so I pushed 70+ pounds of kids in a double stroller in the snow and freezing rain for 5 miles. The walk meant a lot to me, as I did it to honor Mom, who will mark 5 years cancer-free next week and, really, it was a wonderful day!

At the end of the month, J's family came to visit and we had a nice time. I framed the two pictures below and gave them to both his sister and his parents for Christmas. Believe it or not, the family picture is the first one that we've taken in the 13 years that I've been a part of his family.

The kids celebrated the first Halloween that they'd remember. We went trick-or-treating for the first time, and Ella was Tinkerbell and Liam was Thomas the Tank Engine. It was a fun night. Ever since, Els has been obsessed with fairies and princesses. I'm not really a fairy and princess kind of chick, so it's been an adjustment on my part (she does, however, like to dress up in her princess clothes and appropriate her brother's tools....also, it's quite the sight to see her all dressed up and kicking ass at Wii Sports Resort swordfighting).

ETA: How could I forget that I became a Pampered Chef Consultant in October?! I'm really enjoying it! If you ever want to host a catalog show, let me know and I'd be happy to help you have a great time!

November:

I turned 34 and began noticing a significant amount of grey hairs. I really don't want to be one of those people who stresses about going grey, but it's bothering me much more than I'd like.

We ventured down to Boston to see The Imagination Movers (Smitty, how I love thee!) and it was a great show! It takes a lot for me to go into the city, but it was so worth it! The kids had a great time and I can honestly say that it was one of the best concerts I've ever been to.

After a last minute change of plans, Thanksgiving was held at my sister N's house and I think it was just the right thing for everyone. We had been planning a huge gathering at Mom's, like last year, but there was a lot of ambivalence as it was the first major Holiday since Mark died (not counting Easter, since that was only 2 weeks post-shock) and an emerging health crisis clipped plans severely at the last minute. I think, though, that hosting Thanksgiving was great for N and the kids and it ended up being a nice, though bittersweet, celebration.

November saw a lot of prep work for the kitchen remodel.

Most significantly, though, one of my nephews became very ill. They think they've found the proper diagnosis, but I think it may actually be multiple sclerosis. It's been a dreadful time for my sister, A, and my nephew has deteriorated very quickly. Once again, my family is rallying. Please pray for my sister and her family.

December:

December was a blur or planning for the kitchen remodel and keeping tabs on my sister and nephew. We stayed with Mom for 10 days and I ran back and forth to the house most days to manage the contractors. It was pure insanity! The kitchen was done on the 23rd and I spent Christmas Eve and most of Christmas morning setting the kitchen up and hosted Christmas here. It was a lovely day, though, and I finally had my "ahhhh" moment the day after Christmas when I literally stepped back and was able to take it all in. I am in love.

Hey look! It's the new TV!

Phew! That's really only a mere snapshot of the year. As I was going through the year's posts, I was struck by the little things that I'd forgotten. I am truly blessed with an amazing family, a wonderful husband and fabulous, funny and incredible children. Yes, it has been year of sorrow and grief, but there have been good times and new traditions, too. The Christmas card says it all:

Wishing you peace, joy, hope and love at Christmas and always.

If you're still out there, thank you. I'll try to do better in 2010. May the New Year bring you great happiness and health.

Heading Out

2009-10-15T16:40:00.003-04:00

J and I are running away tonight for a little get away. We celebrated our 13th anniversary on Monday (how I forgot to mention that in the last post, I'm not quite sure), so we're heading North for some MUCH needed R & R.

Cait and Mom will be taking care of Liam and Ella. I'm putting my money on the kids being fabulous the majority of the time that we're gone. Anyone who isn't Mumma is a treat and, magically, behavior end up being stellar.

Hmmm...maybe I should get away more often (except for, you know, that whole guilt thing).

Cait and I, and our friend Katie, are participating in the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk on Sunday. We're walking as part of a group from chuch and our team name is Miracle Walkers - I love it! I'm really looking forward to this event. I hope the weather is good.

Now...if only the next 48 hours could go by verrrrry slowly. Mumma and Daddy need to recharge their batteries in a big way!

I Am, In Fact, Still Alive

2009-10-13T22:51:00.002-04:00

So much has been going on. I just don't know where to begin.

I've decided to homeschool the kids for at least preschool and kingergarten. I feel very good about this choice. The adventure formally begins in January.
After much discussion, we're going to renovate our kitchen! I cannot even begin to convey how damn excited I am about this. The first place we got an estimate from was local and very good, but their contractor was pretty much soaking us for the other work that needed to be done. I went to Lowe's, was very afraid that they'd have outrageous prices, and was so happy when they came in more than $6000.00 less than the other place (and that includes more work than the original contractor gave us an estimate for...painting, for example was going to be nearly $1000.00 in addition to the crazy double-digit proposal that we received). Work won't begin until mid-November, which is fine-ish since Thanksgiving won't be here, and I am so thrilled to think of having Christmas in my new kitchen! Wahoo! (Bonus: the first place was going to have us without a kitchen for at least 4-5 weeks; even with the Holiday at the end of November, we should be all set within 2 1/2 to 3 weeks at most with Lowe's - awesome!)
Speaking of the Holidays, I'm feeling rather blah about them. I think this has more to do with the fact that it's the first set of Holidays since my brother-in-law died and no one really wants to address that fact and there's a lot of tip-toeing around grief and the fact that things, especially at Thanksgiving, just won't be as great as they were last year (last Thanksgiving happened to be the best. one. ever. and everyone had a fabulous time)...so I'm not really looking forward to facing the festivities.
In other really big news, I've decided to become a Pampered Chef consultant. I am so excited about this! I'm a little anxious about getting the first few shows booked, since I need to establish more of a network (and two good friends have already had shows in the past couple of months, so I can't ask them to host another so soon), but I'm really looking forward to this opportunity. It's time to get out a little bit and interact with more adults, but I still get to be here for Liam and Ella. It's a product I really believe in, and there isn't the pressure to sell, sell, sell. Wish me luck on my first few shows!

I think that's all I can muster up for now. I hope you're all well (if you're still out there!) and I promise to be better about blogging. As part of the Pampered Chef gig, I'm going to get a new computer, so I'll be around/online more than I am now - the only real drawback to the basement being redone is that the computer is now downstairs 24/7 and I'm not (before it was right in the middle of the action upstairs).

Triple Digits

2009-08-26T19:53:00.004-04:00

I've known this was coming for quite some time, but the fact that I've finally reached a major milestone is still rather mind blowing.

I joined the gym when Liam and Ella were 22 months old for a variety of reasons, but never thought that I'd end up hitting a mark so huge. I've been working out diligently ever since, hitting a couple of decent plateaus that required some intense hard work to break through. I had a bit of a set back with my brother-in-law's death at the end of March - April was pretty much a whirlwind of emotional eating and an inability to get the gym frequently - but got back on track.

Through it all, I've gotten stronger and am slowly reshaping my body. I'm building muscle and definition where previously there was none and I adore the feeling of exhausted exhilaration when I've completed a tough workout. In fact, I can't go more than a day without working out, because I just don't like how it makes me feel. I'm continuously challenging myself and finding new and interesting ways to exercise. I love myself a lot more than I ever thought was possible (which isn't to say that I didn't like myself before, but I really, truly love myself now). I appreciate and embrace my strength and am so thrilled that I'm setting a positive example of healthy living for Liam and Ella.

As of today, I have lost 103 pounds since the day my children were born.

And I'm still on the way down.

Go me!

End Of An Era

2009-08-26T14:33:00.001-04:00

God rest your soul, Ted Kennedy.

Frustrationbook

2009-08-25T21:56:00.001-04:00

Is facebook being wonky for anyone else? It's driving me batty...

And Now For Something New

2009-08-25T21:51:00.001-04:00

Last night I became a shredder.

Loving it!

Very Big Post coming tomorrow.

Quandry

2009-08-20T17:49:00.003-04:00

When I first learned that I was expecting twins, I knew the inevitable question of whether or not to place them in separate classrooms would arise. You know, when the time came.

I'm a strong advocate of parental choice when it comes to multiples in the classroom and feel that, if faced with the decision, parents should be given the opportunity to choose whether or not their children stay together or are placed in separate classes.

Little did I know that I'd be facing a similar question a few years earlier than I anticipated.

The past couple of months have been very stressful in our house. Liam is going through some sort of ultra-needy/high anxiety phase and really, really doesn't like it if I leave the house. It started out gradually; he'd only throw a fit once or twice a week and be extremely difficult at bedtime. Soon, though, it escalated to every night. Finally, it culminated with a neighbor (a particularly nosey neighbor) calling us one night at quarter to 11 to complain about Liam's crying (little did we know that he had opened a window near the foot of Ella's bed and was essentially screaming, across the lawn, directly into the neighbor's bedroom window - he has this amazingly loud, torturous cry/scream that can drive you to the point of wanting to tear the skin from your face which, miraculously, he can stop in an instant once he's satisfied). [Note: lest you think he behaves like this all the time, let me assure you that he doesn't; this was extreme behavior that has since been remedied...I don't want you thinking I've got the screaming kid from hell; he's an amazingly sweet, loving boy.]

The next day, nosey neighbor, who claimed not to have slept at all the night before (despite absolute silence from our house the moment she called until the next morning), "helpfully" brought over some resources that might help us. She's one of these "it takes a village" people, and while I'm all about reaching out to people and asking for help, I generally go to my mother or siblings, not my crazy, nosey neighbor who has far too many opinions on how J and I should be raising our children (hey, lady, thanks, but no thanks and raise your own kid!). Once I recovered from absolute mortification and frustration, I decided that I needed to change my routine in order to better suit the kids' needs, even though the kids are with me all day long and the bedtime routine that we'd been going with provided them nice time with J, and it was really the only time he got to spend with them during the week.

Gone are my nightly workouts at the gym and Daddy-centered bedtimes. In are outrageously early morning workouts for me and Mommy-cenetered bedtimes. I changed up the bedtime routine and now all is well in our world. I can't even begin to tell you how much of a morning person I AM NOT. Our new routine has been working well, but now Liam has started these middle of the night wakings that are killing me. Fear not, I'll figure this out, too.

This is all a really long intro into my real quandry. Liam has always been more emotionally needy than Ella. She's fiercely independent and far more emotionally mature than he is (I think this is pretty typical of girls at this age...the emotional maturity, that is). Since Liam started exhibiting this behavior, I began toying around with the idea of perhaps sending Ella to some sort of preschool program and having special "Mumma and Liam" time while she's at school. Mind you, I'm not keen to send either child off to school for a variety of reasons (not the least of which is that I'm not quite ready to start the 12-14 year cycle of incoming sickness each fall), and Liam and Ella have yet to be taken care of by anyone other than family. I don't use babysitters by design. We rely on and trust family and that's how it's going to be...until it comes time for school.

Ella is ready for school. I know that. I also know that Liam is not. At a very basic level, he's not potty trained, and most preschools have that as a requirement. My plan for this year was to homeschool them for preschool and send them off to pre-K next year. Ideally, the school I want to send them to is small enough that the question of whether or not to separate them doesn't exist. In the meantime, I've stumbled upon a local preschool program that I like and feel really good about. Ella (and, alas, Liam) seemed to really like the place and the teacher we met yesterday and, get this, it's actually run out of a gymnastics center and I know that kid is bound for gymnastics...so it seems kind of perfect.

I think my greatest concern is that she'll have a hard time leaving him, and/or that he'll have a hard time seeing her go. Liam and Ella are fabulously, sweetly, uniquely connected (if you'll recall, that's how naptime became a thing of the past in our house...he won't sleep in their room without her and she won't nap!) and do not like spending time apart from each other. Even if it's taking one for a quick run to the grocery store, the other is asking when (s)he'll be back. It's really quite sweet. I also know that separation coould be a very good thing for them. He could potentially benefit greatly from having one-on-one time with me (but how do I balance that out for Ella?). It may make him develop more confidence, for example. Although I'm not terribly concerned about his not being potty trained yet, seeing her go off to school may motivate him to finally get it done.

I know that, though they are twins, they are absolutely distinctly individual people who have their own needs. I just don't know yet how to meet those when it comes to school. Is it a good idea to separate them? Will he be jealous? How will I handle drop-off if he doesn't want to leave her there? What if she says she wants to go now, but when the time comes she won't leave him? How many, if any, mothers of twins do this? Should I just keep her home this year and send them off together next year, as planned?

There's so much more I could write about this...but I think I'll just stop here. Needless to say, it's not an easy decision, but I'm more than open to suggestions. What would you do?

ps - Let's not even go into whether or not I'm concerned about the H1N1 stuff. (I am to some degree, but am not an alarmist...but there's an argument to not send her to school this year...)

Bedtime Questions

2009-08-10T21:25:00.002-04:00

While tucking the kids in tonight, I asked them each about their day and then, thinking I knew the answer, asked them who their favorite person in the entire world is.

(I thought for sure it would be Nana...the person whose house they ask to visit every. single. day. Whose house we were just at today, after much cajoling and pressuring of the Mumma.)

The answers?

Liam: "Daddy." (OK, that's awesome. He then thought for a moment and told me "Nana's not a person and she doesn't have pink hair. Alrighty then. Glad that's cleared up.)

Ella: "Smitty." (I actually can almost understand this, since we think Smitty is very similar to Daddy. Made me laugh, though.)

Ugh Blah Ick

2009-08-08T22:58:00.003-04:00

Kinda down.

So much has been going on, but I can't find the time/words to express it.

Will return to blogging soon, I promise. That is, if anyone's still out there.

More From A Proud Aunt

2009-07-28T10:53:00.003-04:00

Check it out! That's my niece, Nurse!

Kid Stuff

2009-07-16T23:15:00.004-04:00

I can generally be found in a pair of black pants (full-length or capri) and a v-neck shirt with 3/4 length sleeves. As the mother of two active young children, I dress for comfort, not style (though I don't think I look particularly bad in my everyday wear).

I guess, though, that I never really thought about how uniform my look is until I walked into the kids' room yesterday, wearing a khaki pair of capris and a pink short-sleeved shirt. The kids were playing on Liam's bed and when they noticed me, he leaped up and immediately asked me, "Mumma why are you wearing that?!" I was a little surprised and asked him what he meant. He said, "you don't wear that! You wear black! What's wrong with your shirt?! I can see your arms!"

Think I need to change up my wardrobe?

***************

I decided to try and tackle some of the basement organization yesterday, even though it would mean constantly wrangling the kids out of the unfinished side. I managed to accomplish quite a bit (I'm almost ready to post before and after pics, I promise!) and set up a cute kids' corner and my crafting area. Even though the TV was directly hooked into the wall, I was eager to get DVR installed downstairs. I went online to set up an appointment for the installation and the final step is that you have to chat with a comcast analyst before finalizing your purchase. Little did I know that because we already have DVR, I didn't need a technician to come out to the house to add another box. The woman told me that I could just pick up a unit at the nearest office and install it myself.

Bonus!

So...I take the kids to the office, pick up the DVR and eagerly head home to hook it up. I happily set it up, found the code to synch the remote with the TV, and called into the autmoated line to activate the DVR. As I'm waiting for the call to finish, Ella pops over my left shoulder and asks me, "are you being a man?"

Interesting, eh?

I said no and then she asked me if I was being a "girl-man." I laughed and said no, I was just being me and that I was hooking up the DVR. It's a fascinating peak into a developing mind, isn't it? We've never generalized about gender differences, but she clearly extrapolated that all of the people we've had come to the house to do work have happened to be men and I was doing a "man thing" so I must have been a man in that moment.

In!

2009-07-14T00:50:00.002-04:00

The carpet has been installed! Wahoo!

Now...who wants to watch the kids while I organize the basement?

Bullet Updates...All Over The Place

2009-07-11T01:02:00.005-04:00

I was telling someone the other day that I've been busier than usual lately, but I can't really articulate what's been going on. It seems as though I get up in the morning and go go go until it's time to crawl back in bed. A large part of it has been the work to redo the basement, but that's been in a holding pattern for the past week or so. We were all set to have the carpet installed last Thursday, when the installers discovered wetness under the existing carpet and declared that they wouldn't put in the new carpet until we took care of the wetness. After much research, J caulked and sealed the areas that were wet and they held up under a pretty heavy storm the other afternoon. We're all set for the carpet to be put in on Monday. I. can't. wait. I'm eager to post before and after photos!
Our weekends have been very full lately, too. That's certainly not helping me to feel as though time isn't slipping away. A few weeks ago, we had my nephew's graduation party. Two weekends ago, we were in northern Vermont for KL's daughters' birthday (the baby turned 1 on June 30th and S turns 4 on July 12th, so KL and her husband decided to just throw a joint party. It was a lovely time, and it was fabulous to see everyone and for the kids to play. I have to say that the 4th didn't really feel like a holiday, but we did get out and enjoy the nice weather. The fireworks display for Concord, though short, was a really good show and the kids loved it. All the way home, Ella kept saying, "that was so amazing!" It was quite sweet. On Sunday, the weather was gorgeous and we had a cookout with Mom, Cait and Jeeps and Katie. It was such a nice day to just relax on the deck with family and friends...and it was the first time we'd been able to enjoy the deck since Memorial Day! The weather, for the record, seems to have finally taken a turn for the better. All of that rain was INSANE!
I've been hitting the gym a lot lately. I'm definitely back in my 6 day routine and am loving it. Once again, there's a new trainer, but this guy is GOOD. He works for the Gold's in Manchester, too and he really knows his stuff. I'm loving the new routines he's given me and have broken through my plateau.
In a bizarre twist of jockiness, I've totally become a true Red Sox fan. Previously, I would only really care if they made it into the playoffs, but now I watch the games at the gym and be sure to tune into them when I'm at home (I'm even listening to games on the radio when in the car!); I'm learning about the players and am interested trying to get to a game with the kids when they're a little older; last night I was overheard to say, "too bad he couldn't get a little more heat on that" to which J replied, "who are you?"
Last but not least, in anticipation of removing the futon out of the kids' room (to be used as the couch for the basement once it's finished), Liam and Ella are now in big beds! Since last Thursday, my monkeys have been tiny little fish in the ocean of their full-size beds. So far, so good, though. Ella had a couple of rough nights, during which she declared that she wanted us to throw away her new bed and that she was going to sleep on the moon (she gets points for her imagination, eh?). After receiving several compliments on their beds, though, she now professes deep love for her new bed and they've fially been getting some much needed rest.

It's The Little Things

2009-07-07T22:45:00.002-04:00

Got a random text from my brother tonight saying that he and his youngest son wanted to go to Story Land with the kids and me.

I thought that was nice.

Now, to find the time...

Procrastination

2009-07-03T11:01:00.004-04:00

The only problem with knowing that The Story of Edgar Sawtelle is pretty much a modern day retelling of Hamlet is that I kind of conveniently forgot that Hamlet dies in the end.

Given my tendency to skip ahead and read the ending, I already know how it happens and Idon't really want to finish the book.

I love Edgar.

Boo-Boo

2009-06-30T15:07:00.003-04:00

The kids have been into band aids lately, even for the slightest scratch.

This morning, while getting dressed, Liam had a mini freak-out and demanded I put a band aid on the boo-boo on his chest.

File this under things I never thought I'd say:

"Oh, love, that's not a boo-boo, that's your nipple."

Lax

2009-06-28T23:15:00.002-04:00

I'm not ignoring you, I promise. I've been buuuuuuuuuuuuuuusy.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating. I've been dreaming and talking about and planning The Great Basement Cleanout for so long now that I still can't believe that it's finally happening. Not only is it getting done, but it will all have happened within one month...ONE MONTH! The heat is in and J painted last week - it looks great. The carpet is going in on Thursday and then I can begin to load stuff back and set the basement up the way I want.

I am so excited. So much stuff had accumulated down there over the years that I forgot how large of a space we really have down there and there will be plenty of room for a dedicated workout space, quilting area and, most importantly, more play space for the kids. I can't wait to post before and after pictures!

Some other projects, which were on my to-do list have kind of been side effects of the Cleanout and I'm happy to report that our bedroom has had a massive floor to ceiling cleaning and is now looking fabulous and the downstairs bathroom wallpaper has been steamed off and we know what we're going to do in there in terms of painting. That'll be next.

So, aside from being caught up with all of the work with redoing the basement, we also daytriped is to Vermont yesterday for KL's daughters' birthday. I had been wondering how she was going to handle it. S will be 4 on July 12th and the baby turns 1 on Tuesday. KL decided to have a joint party and it was such a nice time. It was a smaller crowd than usual, but we had a lovely time and oh God it was so cute to see the kids all play together. KL's sister got some fabulous pictures that I'll sort through and post when I have a moment (I know, I know, you're thinking you'll most likely see them sometime next year...not true, I promise!).

Also, I've begun something pretty major that I'm not ready to write about yet, but will when the time is right.

So, all in all, life has been busier than usual, which is saying a lot. We've been having a crappy, cool (that's not a bad thing, really) rainy summer and it's not been any fun for the kids. In fact, J just put our a/c in last week and that the latest that's ever happened. I can't believe that next weekend is the 4th of July. What are your plans?

Crossover

2009-06-15T10:28:00.003-04:00

I'm not a fan of country music, but while at the gym yesterday I saw a commercial for the upcoming CMT Music Awards. The dude on the commercial listed off the performers to be seen at the show and I'm just wondering...Def Leppard?

Really?

9 Days

2009-06-14T22:16:00.002-04:00

Since last Saturday, Cait and I have done a MASSIVE cleanout of the basement. First cleaning and organizing the unfinished side and then hauling a ton of stuff over from the finished side. This project - which I've been dreaming and talking about for years - is finally coming to fruition and I can't believe it. I've picked out and ordered the carpet, the baseboard heat was installed on Friday (previosuly there'd never been heat down there), Caitlin did the majority of the wallpaper steaming, and there are just a few boxes for J to sort through. The refrigerator is the only big thing left to move, and we'll do that once we know when the carpet's going in for certain.

Yesterday, J and I cleaned out the garage while another niece entertained Liam and Ella and it was fabulous to move more stuff over and out. Between donating items to Goodwill, the church yard sale and just generally throwing things away, we've gotten rid of a ton of stuff, and I'm in awe of how much we still have. When I first ordered the dumpster, I though for sure that we wouldn't come close to filling it. I. was. so. wrong. That puppy is FULL.

At the church yard sale yesterday, Cait scored some great pieces of furniture. I picked up another wooden bin organizer (to put in the basement once it's done, natch) for just $5 (and it's in perfect condition!). We inherited one organizer from N and the kids, and it works well upstairs. I was thrilled to get another one and for such a steal! I'm not normally a yard sale type of person, but Cait and I checked out a couple of other sales on the way home yesterday morning, and I picked up some great kids' books and a step (with risers!). Cait also found a cute pair of lamps for a great deal and I was happy that we decided to check out what else was going on in the neighborhood.

So...in a nutshell, life has been busy, busy, busy and dirty, dirty, dirty.

The Great Basement Cleanout took me on several walks down memory lane, most of which I would rather have left alone, but it's been a cathartic experience overall and it's liberating to be free of so much stuff. Of course, the entire point of redoing the basement is so that the kids have more space to play, I have a dedicated quilting area and also a decent place to workout at home, so I know there's more stuff in our future.

I'm wiped out, but so excited! I couldn't have done any of it without Cait's help and support. A GINORMOUS public thank you to her for taking time off from work to get down and dirty with me and clean our lives out. We love you, chicken head.

Musical Me

2009-06-10T00:16:00.004-04:00

I made an almost obscene amount of mix tapes during the '90s.

They're pretty good, actually. So good, that Cait and I went out the other night in search of a stereo that had a tape player and finally managed to find one (yes, ONE...every system out there is made for damn iPods now). I've been breezing through themas we work on the basement, forcing Caitlin to glimpse into the mind of a late teen/early 20something Heather. I hope it's not too traumatic.

Days One and Two

2009-06-07T23:58:00.006-04:00

The Great Basement Cleanout is well underway and man are we making progress. There is a ton left to do, but we're knee-deep in making headway. An unintentional side effect of all of this is that I cleaned out my bedroom closet and sorted through an embarrassingly overwhelming amount of clothes. I honestly had no idea how much clothing I owned. Today, I dropped off two and half ginormous bags of clothes at Goodwill - 72 pieces! The best part is that it was all stuff I'm too small for since I've lost weight. Bonus!

While I'm not crazy enough to share the state of my bedroom, here are some before and in progress shots of the unfinished side of the basement.

Deplorable, I know! Check out the horrible "storage" door thingies that were left behind by the "handyman" former owner. I HATE THEM. I call them the refrigerator doors. Finally, they've been removed and are currently residing in the dumpster.

That horrendous, useless, storage unit in the middle there? (The one with the paint cans?) I never would have thought to try and take it out, but Cait suggested it and we discovered that it wasn't attached to anything, so J went to town taking it apart and holy hell what a difference! Excellent idea, Cait!

Check it out! The ugly storage doors and center unit are now gone! I'm so happy! We have so much more space now to sort and haul everything over from the finished side to store while the carpet is installed/wallpaper is stripped/painting is done/baseboard heat is installed. This may not look like an improvement over the "before" shots, but trust me it so is (and it's even better now).

Tomorrow and Tuesday, the kids are off to Mom's so Cait and I can work uninterrupted and J is going to prime and paint the porch (which is still the crap brown color of the original house...after Tuesday it will be a lovely almond to match the siding). That was the other big project for this summer and since J was already taking the next two days off (originally for child minding while Cait and I worked downstairs), I came up with the brilliant idea that he could bring the kids to Mom's and do the porch! Do I know how to plan his time or what? I'm sure he'll be thrilled to get back into the office on Wednesday.

I've been talking about doing this for so long, that I'm still a little in shock that it's finally happening. We'll keep on keeping on and I think that, within 4-6 weeks (depending on how long it takes to get estimates and the baseboard installed), I will finally have the third floor of living space that I've been dreaming about.

Proud Aunt

2009-06-05T22:31:00.006-04:00

Mom and I went to an art show that my nephew's work was in for his AP art class. He only decided about two years ago that he wanted to go to art school and we were all a bit skeptical that he'd be able to pull it off since he'd never really expressed an interest in art until after his sophomore year of high school.

The kid is pretty damn good! (No, I'm not biased.)

He's posted scans of a lot of his work on facebook, so I was familiar with most of his portfolio. It was nice to go and support him, though, and Mom got a kick out of seeing his stuff (since she just doesn't grasp the concept of "facepage" and therefore hasn't seen any of his stuff).

As I was walking around the room, admiring works by other students, I came upon a painting that I was drawn to. Lo and behold, it was done by my nephew! I went over and asked him about and it turns out that he hates that particular painting and asked that it be put on the other side of the room nowhere near his collection because he didn't want to see it during the show ("it doesn't fit with [his] style").

Well...I love the painting and now it's mine!

For the record, this is the painting that's now mine. The painting at the top of the post is one of my nephew's self portraits. He's just getting to be so great that I wanted to post more than one painting (and, you can see his "style" in the self portrait...it's "chunky," as he calls it, and "in the style of Lucien Frued").

And, yes, he's going to art school in the fall.

How Could I Forget?!?

2009-06-03T09:31:00.003-04:00

My own little butterflies!

Something Different

2009-06-02T23:19:00.009-04:00

Mom's been dying to take the kids to The Butterfly Place for well over a year now. As the weather gets warmer, she's more eager to "make memories that will keep [her] warm during the cold winter." Add to that the fact that she's just plain stircrazy and she's pretty much always asking me to do "something different." Last night she came up with the idea of finally going to The Butterfly Place.

I was a little skeptical, concerned that Liam and Ella would be a tad unmanageable. I forgot to mention our plans to J entirely and he had the back to front stroller in his car. I almost packed the side by side into the van as we set out, but decided to take my chances and explain to the kids that they must hold hands with Nana and Mumma or we were going to leave "the butterfly show" (as they called it) immediately.

When we pulled up, there were 3 school buses and Mom's heart sank a little. It's not a huge place, and we were concerned that it was just going to be overrun with school kids. One of the buses was leaving as we parked and the other two groups cleared out a little while after our arrival. We walked through the display area, where they have various (live) life stages of the butterfly for visitors to observe, and then stood at the window of the atrium in awe of the butterflies. Finally, we went into the atrium and it was so magical! It's a bit tropical, as butterflies and moths need the warmth to fly, but it wasn't unbearable. The kids did a great job, and I eventually slackened my hand holding rule once we were all comfortable in the area and I knew the layout of the path. Liam was a bit intimidated of all of the butterflies. Ella was in awe and Mom was so happy. The blue morphos are stunning and we had such a lovely visit.

The highlight of the entire day, at least for Liam and Ella? Moxie, the talking moose at Bugaboo Creek (a restaurant we'd never been to before and decided to try in Nashua - we liked it!).

All in all, it was a much needed and very lovely change of scenery.

Inherited?

2009-06-01T09:29:00.001-04:00

My son eats lemon wedges. Rind and all.

Apparently, my father did the same thing (and it totally skeeved Mom out!). It doesn't skeeve us out, but it is rather amazing to watch.

Heard Around Here Recently

2009-05-28T22:44:00.003-04:00

Liam: "I'm drawing God, Mumma."
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Liam: "Yep. Does God have shoes?"

*******

Ella: "These people are crazy!"
Me: "What?"
Ella: "These people are driving me crazy, Mumma!"
Me: "Where'd you learn that?"
Ella: "Oh, I just knowed it forever."

*******

Liam: "Mumma, are you fusterated?" (I was indeed, perceptive boy...)

Bits & Pieces

2009-05-26T22:41:00.004-04:00

We had a lovely long weekend. J took Friday off, and the four days together were very nice. Yesterday, Mom, Cait and Jeeps were over and we enjoyed a cookout and good company.
I tried to take Liam to church on Sunday, but it didn't go well. He was so excited about being there that he just couldn't be quiet. He narrated everything that was going on, and we ended up leaving before Mass even began. I think it'll be a while before I try to bring him again.
Cait watched the kids today so Mom and I could go see Angels and Demons. I really enjoyed it. Overall, I liked the book a lot more than I liked The DaVinci Code, so I was hoping the movie would be good. When it was first announced that Tom Hanks had landed the role of Robert Langdon, I was none too pleased. While I don't have a problem with him usually, he just isn't Langdon. I didn't like him in TDC, and was generally disappointed with that movie all told. Hanks impressed me more in this incarnation and it helped the movie, too. Although, I could go the rest of my life not having to see Tom Hanks (or his swimming body double, if that's who it was) in a speedo. I just don't need that image in my mind. Thanks for making the afternoon out possible, Cait!
J and I watched the season premiere of Jon and Kate Plus 8. It was so sad and I felt a little guilty for witnessing the implosion of their relationship. I think reality has gone a step too far with this one, and my heart goes out to the kids.
I am by no means a fan of Mike Tyson, but I'm sorry for the tragic loss of his daughter. The death of a child is something no one should have to suffer.
I'm pleased with the choice of Sonia Sotomayor.

Spontaneous Date

2009-05-22T23:00:00.003-04:00

The idea to see if Mom could watch the kids so J and I could hit an afternoon showing of Star Trek popped into my head sometime around 10 this morning.

It was such a great idea!

I know that it tends to work out better when I spring something like this one Mom. She tends to get a bit flustered if I give her any sort of heads up about what we might like to do. Honestly, I wasn't even interested in seeing the movie, but practically everyone I know is raving about it and I heard that even people who don't like Trek (that's me!) are loving the film, so I thought we should give it a try. We so have to buy it when it's out on DVD.

The last movie J and I were able to get out to was Persepolis and that was well over a year ago, so we were overdue for a movie date. (We have managed to get out for a few meals as a couple, but not to the movies.)

All in all, the day was great. As a family, we went out for a leisurely, late lunch and then went to Mom's. The kids were thrilled to have the run of the place (literally, there's so much more space for them to play outside) and J and I stopped by a local ice cream shop in Gilford for a little treat before hitting the movie.

We both enjoyed the movie, not to mention the time together, immensely and it was a fabulous start to our long weekend.

Plus? That Zachary Quinto is H-O-T!

I Pay For This

2009-05-21T23:41:00.003-04:00

I must admit, I was wrong about the new trainer at the gym. I may have speculated that he only had aspirations to be a gym teacher or, you know, something along those lines. Dude definitely wants to be a personal trainer and is taking it very seriously.

He kicked my ass today. Kicked it. Stomped on it. Pretty much tried to drive it into the grave.

I haven't met with him for about a month, but he'd already given me three variations of my weight routine to work with so, for the most part, I've had some good variety to choose from on the days I do weights. I was getting a little tired of the tricep pulldowns and mentioned it to him at the beginning of our meeting today. I apparently unwittingly issued him a challenge. Woo boy did he decide to take "hey, can we change up the tricep routine?" and turn it into "hey, Gary, let's change it up and why don't you torture me for a while and I'll pay you for it...I know! How about we do something where I basically have to crawl out to my car when we're through?"

He knows his stuff and he's actually whipped the training program at the gym into great shape. Hopefully, he'll stick around (it's no secret that the owner of the gym tends to turn her staff over with great rapidity). I'm most definitely feeling my workout, but it's a very good pain.

Totally worth it.

I Can't See You

2009-05-19T09:00:00.004-04:00

The kids are at the phase where, if they cover their eyes, they think you can't see them.

Last night, as I was making dinner, Ella became fascinated with the bottle of worcestershire sauce. She was carrying it around, trying to fit it into the refrigerator of her play kitchen, holding it while she looked out the window waiting for J and Liam to come back from their stroller ride. It was pretty much her new best friend for the moment. It was pretty funny, but I kept asking her to put it back and explained that it should stay in the fridge.

Finally, once dinner was in the oven, I sat down at the computer to catch up on some email and, out of the corner of my eye, I see Ella silently, slowly stalking by me with the worcestershire bottle in her left hand and right hand covering her eyes. The little monkey was trying to make it into the living room - walking right past me - convinced that I couldn't see her because she couldn't see me.

The look of surprise on her face when I asked her what she was doing was priceless!

Check Up!

2009-05-18T23:21:00.002-04:00

Liam and Ella had the 3 year check-ups today and it was pretty great. Last year, Ella was such a screaming mass of toddler that she upset Liam and the nurse couldn't get weights or heights on either of them and the entire appointment was a mess. Yes, they're a year older, but Ella still has a great amount of anxiety when it comes to going to the doctor.

We began talking up the appointment a couple of weeks ago. We told the kids how nice Dr. Bill is and how impressed he would be with their growth (not to mention the fact that she's all potty trained!), but I was still concerned that we might have a repeat of last year. Fortunately, we didn't.

As for their stats, Liam is 31 pounds and 39 1/4 inches. Ella is 36 pounds and 38 7/8 inches.

Way to go, Muffins!

Make That 16

2009-05-16T22:15:00.006-04:00

I've tried to begin this post so many different ways and I just can't find the right way to convey what I want to say...here's my final attempt.

Growing up, I was enormously proud of having a large family. When I was little, I would run off when we were out in public and the very first thing I told people was, "I'm the youngest of 10 children!" Oftentimes, I was met with underwhelming ooohs and ahhhs, but it never dampened my enthusiasm for declaring how awesome I think it is to be a part of a big family (craziness, in-fighting and, sometimes, all out battles included!).

But, here's the thing. I am the youngest of 10 children, but I'm also technically an only child. And, really, I'm the youngest of 16.

Confused yet?

Somewhere along the line, I discovered that I had more siblings than I knew about. I used to play at my father's desk, and one day I came upon a stack of Father's Day and birthday cards addressed to my father, but they were signed by someone whose name I didn't recognize. I must've been 5 or so at the time, but I eventually pieced together that my father had other children, ones that wasn't being raised with.

Later on, when I was 11, I discovered that my mother had been married before and that all of the siblings I was growing up with were actually my mother's children from her first marriage (I always wondered why two of my brothers had different last names!). Finally, I put together that one of my sisters, K, is my father's child from a previous marriage. I know, it's a bit of a soap opera.

Let me sum it up for you: my mother was married once before and had 8 children. My father had been married twice before. He had 6 children with his first wife and my sister K with his second wife. K's mother died when she was young and my mother raised her and later adopted her, and then I came along - a very unexpected event and the only child of my mother and father - and never knew anything other than the family of 10 that I was raised with (although the majority of my siblings are considerably older than I, but that is my norm; as a child, I just accepted it as part of the quirkiness of having a large family).

For the record, my brothers and sisters and I do not think of ourselves as "half" siblings. As far as I know, the distinction has never really been made (although, now that I'm older, we do talk about "my" father and "their" father, but N and P consider my father to be more of a father than their birth father and I know that my older siblings generally regard my father with affection). Simply, we are all family.

Over the years, I've thought about the brothers and sisters that I had "somewhere out there" - the ones from my father's first marriage. I was 6 when my father died and never had the chance to revisit the discovery of that stack of cards I found in his desk. My mind would wander, though, and I would wonder if my other siblings knew about K and me. If they wondered what we were like or how we were. I had some vague knowledge of their whereabouts (mostly in Massachusetts) and flirted with the idea of finding them when I got older. Nothing ever came of it, though. I did know that one brother, Frankie, died when I was young. He was quite popular with the siblings on my side and would apparently visit us frequently when I was little. Frankie was the only one I ever really heard anything about and, to this day, M, P and Mom recall him fondly.

As I grew older, my mother would talk more about my other siblings if I asked, but she didn't know much else about them, aside from their names. My maiden name is fairly common, so if I did search for the names I knew, a slew of hits came back and I could never be certain that I'd found an actual sibling. For the most part, though, I pretty much let it go.

Cut to January: J had been researching his family tree and found a website that he really liked. He got one of his aunts involved, and they proceeded to fill in a whole bunch of their family history. J got to feeling a little sad that I didn't know much about my other siblings, so he asked for one of their names just to see if anyone happened to have a family tree on the website. I gave him Frankie's name and...drum roll, please...within seconds he hit upon a tree! I couldn't view it in its entirety until I was invited by the person who'd made it, so I fired off a quick, somewhat awkward email to the woman who started the tree. Within half an hour, she responded!

After years of wondering, suddenly I was connected with one of my other siblings! It was amazing. Cyndee and I have been in contact since late January and, today, we met for the very first time. Her brothers and sisters are a little more wary about the situation and that's fine. It's been 27 years since our father died, so I can understand the apprehension. For her part, K's not particularly interested in establishing contact, but I've always been more family oriented than she is so I'm not at all surprised by her reaction.

It was a lovely meeting. Cyndee drove all the way up here to meet J, the kids and me. She even brought Liam and Ella gifts, which I thought was fabulously sweet. She shared some pictures of our father that she'd received from one of our paternal aunts and it was wonderful to see them. Ever since we made the date to meet, I've been frantically searching for my photo album so that I could share some pictures with her, but it's been misplaced in all of the random stashing of things that we've had to do since the kids were born. I will find it, though. Cyndee and I went out for a nice lunch and it was great to get to know one another a little more. I do worry that my contacting her has shaken up Cyndee's world, as well as her siblings', but, for my part, I'm very happy to have met one of my sisters and I hope that she enjoyed our meeting as much as I did.

There is a lot of insanity that comes along with being part of a large family, but I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm happy that mine is still growing.

Cheating With A Picture Post

2009-05-14T23:39:00.008-04:00

When he's not making me want to pull my hair out, he's making me die of laughter. Seriously, they are the two funniest people I know, but Liam takes the cake a lot of the time. (Sunglasses courtesy of Mumma putting them within toddler boy's reach.)

Ella's doing awesome with potty training and we're so proud of her. And, she likes to wear Thomas tablescape pieces on her head.

Guess who still managed to misplace her keys even after adding two reusable bags to the mess that is her keychain and joking that they should be impossible to lose now? Yep, I'm a moron. (Needless to say, I found them...)

Sigh

2009-05-12T23:50:00.003-04:00

Feeling blah, even though I've been rather productive lately.

Am kind of annoyed that neither Mike nor Tara won the Biggest Loser, but I suppose that's pretty catty.

I did squeeze a hair appointment in for this Friday, so that's something to look forward to, I guess.

Ugh.

Goals

2009-05-11T16:23:00.003-04:00

I'm going to try something new. I'm actually going to make a list of goals for the next month (who says you need to start on the 1st?!). I have a lot coming up that I want to accomplish, and listing it here will help me to stay focused. I'm going to revisit my list on June 11th and see how well I was able to stick to my goals.

Now that I'm back in the habit, maintain schedule of hitting the gym 6 days a week.
To that end, lose 5 lbs.
Cut back on Diet Coke intake (swear to God! I'm actually trying to cut it out completely...I know, who am I?!?)
Research dumpster rentals, choose one, rent it and clean basement and garage (Cait's helping with this one in a major way - she's taking time off from work to help me). This is the biggie for this month and is essential to my plan of redoing the basement before the Fall. If I can't report that this task has been completed, I just suck.
Blog at least every other day (this'll be a challenge).
Clean and organize the pantry.

OK, feel free to keep me on task and ask me how things are going!

:)

2009-05-10T09:47:00.001-04:00

Happy Mother's Day!

Breaking A Sweat Again

2009-05-07T23:38:00.004-04:00

Since my brother-in-law's suicide, pretty much everything has been turned upside down.

Obviously, life has to go on and I've got two little people who know nothing of death and grief (thank God!), so something had to give in my attempts to maintain some sort of routine for the Muffins and trying to find a balance between taking care of others and myself. Guess whose needs were pushed aside? I feel as though I've been wading through mud for the past month or so.

Of course, the near-incapacitating sinus infection that I've been fighting for nearly 3 weeks hasn't helped much, either.

I'm happy to report that I'm now well on my way to being on the mend, so I reclaimed a part of my life and routine last night that I had no choice but to let slide over the five weeks: I went back to the gym for the first time in over three weeks.

God, it felt good.

The week after Mark's death, it was all hands on deck (and, thankfully, J was around a lot so that I could be up at Mom's to help), so the gym was definitely out. I attempted to go back the following week and did alright, even managing to keep my appointment with the trainer, but my heart wasn't really in it and then life got busy again. In the week leading up to Liam and Ella's birthday party, I willingly took a little hiatus from working out formally because I was doing hours of yard work and justified that that was enough of a workout. Then, the kids got sick and I came down with it too. On top of that, Mom's been on three rounds of antibiotics for her pneumonia and I've been doing a lot of running back and forth between my house and Mom's taking care of her and others. Even if I hadn't been sick, making the time to hit the gym would have been pretty much impossible.

Finding the time to take care of myself is, needless to say, something I still need to work on (I know, I know who doesn't?) and, although life is settling into a new groove (one in which I'm more "on call" and that's totally OK), I need to be more mindful of not pushing my needs too far aside because, cliche though it is, you can't take good care of others until you care for yourself.

I reclaimed my workouts last night and it feels so fabulous.

Yay me.

How Can You Not Love This?!

2009-05-06T21:57:00.001-04:00

Mud

2009-05-06T00:45:00.002-04:00

Eldest Niece treated us to an Origins facial mask last night and made the whole house play along. Even Mom had fun!

The bonus? I found their website and they were offering 25% off AND free shipping. Happy Mother's Day to me!

@gratefulflea

2009-05-06T00:09:00.004-04:00

I jokingly told J earlier today that I think I'd be a better tweeter than I am blogger.

I'm still going to blog, but I'm better at the one liners (I have SO MUCH I want to blog about but don't have the time for). So...if you're game, follow me on twitter too and feel free to laugh while I figure it all out.

Maybe twittering (tweeting?) will make me a better blogger?

Playing For Change

2009-05-05T23:45:00.005-04:00

Last Tuesday, I took my niece out to buy a birthday gift for N. As we walked into Starbucks to pick up a bag of coffee (for the brand new programmable coffee maker, natch), I noticed a couple of CDs at the counter, near the register. I glanced at one, checked out the play list and asked the underwhelmingly enthusiastic dude behind the counter whether or not the disc was any good. He didn't know (I kind of thought he should have at least listened to it once, kind of like how servers at any halfway decent restaurant tries the dishes on the menu so they can honestly tell you about them), but I took a chance and purchased the disc I was most interested in.

I love it! It's by far my new favorite thing. I bought it because I liked more than half of the songs listed, so I suppose it wasn't too much of a risk, but of how I love this CD. After only listening to it once, I decided that I needed to buy a second copy for N's birthday. By all accounts she likes it, too.

And, PFC is a pretty awesome concept. How can you not love the idea of peace through music?

Woo-Hoo!

2009-04-29T23:21:00.001-04:00

On Valentine's Day, Ella peed on the potty for the very first time.

Since then...nothing. Nada.

Today, she peed twice! Definite progress!

Sicknesses

2009-04-27T19:17:00.002-04:00

Mom has pneumonia (more on that to come), but at least my nephew doesn't have the swine flu (although he did get to call into work today due to being quarantined...I kid you not).

As for us? The kids are on the mend, but I'm still crumbling under the sinus pressure. I should be back up to speed by the end of the week (fingers crossed!), but am still feeling like crud.

Curious

2009-04-27T11:20:00.002-04:00

If, say, you come to this blog looking for a specific post, or two, that you can no longer find, you can always email me.

New Life

2009-04-23T09:17:00.001-04:00

Congratulations, Lorraine and family!

Welcome to the world, Sean Daniel Robert :)

Whirlwind

2009-04-20T22:14:00.016-04:00

The past couple of weeks have been a complete blur. After a somewhat last minute change of plans, I made a traditional Easter dinner up at Mom's. We had the kids' first egg hunt, and their first official delivery from the Easter Bunny. It went over very well. Then it was full-on birthday planning mode. My sister, M, had been sick before Easter but miraculously recovered enough to make it to dinner. And to infect most of us. Ella, Liam, Caitlin and Mom are all sick now and somehow my body knew to hold off until the end of the insanity. As I laid down with the kids last night to tuck them in, I felt the sore throat creeping on. I am totally sick now and none too pleased with M, who "realized" after crashing Easter dinner that she wasn't well enough to go to work last Monday or Tuesday. Ugh! She actually didn't come to the party yesterday, claiming that she "didn't want to be infected." Can you believe it?!

That said, here are some shots of Easter and the birthday party. Yesterday was a fabulous day. Everything came together so nicely - the food, the crowd, the weather, just everything - and J and I were so happy with how the day went. The weather was wonderful enough that everyone spent most of the time outside, soaking up the sun and enjoying each other's company. J's parents surprised the kids with classic Radio Flyer trikes (which actually worked out very well, because we haven't had a chance to purchase their bikes, so we'll just hold off on those for now and let the kids enjoy the trikes). N and her kids surprised Liam and Ella with a basketball hoop, which was a BIG hit. A and P, Liam and Ella's Godparents (as well as their aunt and uncle), surprised me by getting the Muffins a sand and water table for them to play with on the deck. P's wife gave the kids a great batch of homemade goodies, including a cute felt soccer ball, adorable little stuffed mice and some nice play dough. Everyone seemed to have a good time and I'm glad for the exhaustion at the end of it, because it was so worth it.

All in all, it's been a total whirlwind but it all just reminds me how blessed I am with amazing children, a wonderful husband and a great family.

Quick! Find those eggs!

She was quite good at finding more than one at a time.

Oooh...check out those goodies!

The only decent shot of the two of them together on Easter. It's so hard to get Ella to pose for a picture now.

Chilling out on the kitchen floor, muching on some of the loot from the egg hunt.

The trikes! (And, yes, my son did wear the same outfit for Easter and the party - isn't he so handsome?!)

Ahhh! The cake that caused me so much stress. It was quite good, albeit a bit green, but the kids loved it I think I'm over my cake ordering anxiety (although, I still prefer to make my own, but this worked out quite nicely).

Ella blowing out the candle.

Then it's Liam's turn.

I have no idea what they're doing here or even who took the shot, but I think it's super cute.

2 points!

He was trying to pretend that I wasn't taking his picture. Seriously.